In the spring of 2024, my husband, Paul, and I bought a house in England and were preparing to move that summer.
We’d been talking about leaving the US since we started dating a decade prior, but now that it was happening, several of my family members seemed shocked. I kept hearing our decision to move was “weird.”
The idea that my loved ones considered this decision “weird” stressed me out and left me feeling confused.
I’ve wanted to live abroad since I was an exchange student in Australia in 1989. Over the decades that followed, I considered moving to Australia, New Zealand, Italy, Serbia, Vietnam, and Canada, but life kept getting in the way.
When Paul and I got together, I had a shared custody arrangement and moving wasn’t possible, so Paul, who is British, sacrificed and made his home in America. We agreed that when my son graduated from high school in 2024, we’d reconsider where we wanted to live.
In 2022, we began seriously exploring our options. We house-hunted in Ireland and Oxford before discovering Portishead, a seaside town near Bristol that reminded us of our former home on Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay.
By then, Paul had spent roughly a decade away from his family. His mother had died, he’d suffered a major heart attack, and his adult son was settling down in England. We wanted to be closer to him as he started his own family.
I didn’t think I needed to explain to my family why we were leaving
As moving day approached, I began to feel increasingly misunderstood.
I’d spent years talking about living overseas, and Paul had spent a decade away from his family to be with me. I knew our decision would be emotional for everyone, but I hadn’t expected to feel as though I needed to justify it.
I was sad that I didn’t feel I had everyone’s full support.
I wanted to find a way to clearly explain myself to all of my family members at once, but I assumed they wouldn’t read a long letter or text. That’s when I got the idea for a photo-heavy presentation to refresh their memories and reframe the story.
I spent an entire weekend making a 33-slide PowerPoint presentation titled “Is It Weird That I’m Moving to the UK?”
In it, I went all the way back to 1989, documenting 35 years of international adventures, abandoned relocation plans, and conversations about eventually leaving America.
I explained why we’d chosen England, why the timing made sense, and I addressed the question I suspected was troubling everyone: How could I leave my son and aging parents?
Minutes after sharing the presentation, the conversations shifted.
For the first time, I felt we were discussing the actual emotions surrounding the move rather than whether my decision made sense.
Looking back, I wonder if calling the move “weird” was simply another way of expressing sadness about the distance that would separate us.
Two years later, our family relationships are thriving
My American family has embraced our new home, and a new family saying is “normalize going to England.”
Last year we did Christmas here, and this year, some of my English family members are traveling with us to celebrate it in the US.
We’ve also been able to participate in milestones that we might otherwise have missed. We attended Paul’s son’s wedding, and in September 2026, we welcomed our grandson, Benjamin.
Living across an ocean from family still requires effort. The time difference is absolutely brutal, and I have to accept that we can’t be present for every occasion.
I also understand my family’s initial reaction better now: It’s difficult when someone you love chooses to live thousands of miles away.
Ultimately, I’ve learned that a major life decision can make perfect sense to the person making it and still be painful for the people affected by it.
And that sometimes the best way to finally get everyone communicating openly is to explain several decades of personal history in a PowerPoint presentation.
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