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Michael Kosta of “The Daily Show” criticized Kimberly Guilfoyle, the U.S. ambassador to Greece, on Thursday after an article in The Wall Street Journal reported that she had asked a political donor to pay off a $100,000 credit card bill.
“Man, if the Justice Department still existed, you’d be in so much trouble,” Kosta said.
“Wow, that was not subtle. Usually it’s, ‘Meet me in the parking lot with a suitcase full of bills.’ But Guilfoyle was like, ‘Here is a PDF with instructions for how to send me a bribe.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“And damn, a $100,000 credit card bill? Now her current job makes sense: ‘Hmm, we need a new ambassador who really understands Greece. Kimberly, you’re deep in debt. You’d be perfect!’” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“Whoa, real criminal mastermind we got here. She left a paper trail about not leaving a paper trail. Didn’t help that she named the group chat ‘Paper Trail (Crimes).’” — MICHAEL KOSTA
The Punchiest Punchlines (Nobel Peace Prize Edition)
“I know you’re sad about this, Donald. I know you were really good this year. I know you only bombed 10 fishermen and one school, and I know you don’t care about the Nobel Prize, but somebody will get it. And you will be mortified to know that that someone will not be you tomorrow.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on President Trump’s interest in receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.
“Everything you need to know about Trump’s brain can be explained by the fact that he believes he should win a Nobel Prize for peace seven months after starting a war for no reason. Even history’s most notorious dictators — Genghis Khan himself would be like, ‘You know what? This was a rebuilding year. We’ll go for it next year.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“One of the actual candidates for the Nobel Prize is the prime minister of Canada, Mark Carney, who, you know, on one hand, I would love to see him win just to drive Trump so nuts he eats his golf clubs this weekend. But I also know, if he does, he’ll bomb every Tim Horton’s from coast to coast, so.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Patti Smith told Jimmy Fallon about meeting the pope while promoting her “Bread for Angels” paperback on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The Canadian poet and essayist Anne Carson was awarded this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature.
The post Michael Kosta Calls Kimberly Guilfoyle a Bad Fit for Bribery appeared first on New York Times.
