In March 2018, Nintendo posted a promotional image for its soon-to-be-released video game Mario Tennis Aces, which generated a lot of buzz for all the wrong reasons. In it, Mario’s brother, Luigi, is depicted as having a pretty noticeable bulge in his shorts. Naturally, the internet jumped to the conclusion that this was intended to be the outline of the beloved character’s penis. It’s unclear if Nintendo did this on purpose, but they quickly removed the photo from their website once the story began to circulate.
“[Hey, Nintendo] do you really have to make these renders so anatomically correct?” asked one Twitter user at the time. “[Former Nintendo president] Satoru Iwata died so we could [have] an HD photo of Luigi’s bulge,” wrote another. Before long, the online conversation shifted to the size of Luigi’s wiener. You see, based on the number of pixels in the image, some theorized you could get a rough measurement by comparing his bulge to the racket he’s holding.
The Internet Did the Math on Luigi’s Bulge, Because of Course It Did
Another Twitter user who goes by the handle @fortooate did some calculations and figured out that Luigi was packing roughly 3.7 inches flaccid. This is based on the fact that real tennis rackets are about 28 inches long, and Luigi’s racket is 300 pixels long. Since his flaccid bulge is only 40 pixels long, that comes out to the aforementioned 3.7 inches. Mind you, this doesn’t answer the burning question of what that number would be if Luigi were standing at attention.
“Some rough work reveals that Luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is a) simply one interpretation of which way his d—k is resting, b) therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, c) does not account for any level of partial erection, & d) reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement,” @fortooate helpfully pointed out.
“What we do know, however, is that [Luigi] has a d—k,” he continued, “and that? That’s great.”
The post A Fan Once Calculated Luigi’s Penis Size Based on a Nintendo Ad. Anyway, Here’s How Big It Is. appeared first on VICE.
