No one particularly likes to have their views challenged—to be told they don’t see things clearly or have the full picture. And when someone, like a friend, neighbor, co-worker, journalist, or podcast host disagrees with our way of thinking, it’s natural to get a bit defensive.
It’s easy to think we are right, and someone else’s perceptions and ways of being are wrong. But the tighter we clench our jaws and fists, the more we restrict our ability to connect and expand both our views and our connections.
Open-mindedness is related in part to intellectual humility, recognizing one’s own imperfections as a knower, and appreciating others’ thinking strengths.
Indeed, those who recognize that their beliefs or opinions may be fallible or incomplete are often more willing to learn about others’ views. Research shows that taking in new information helps us widen our knowledge base, increases creativity and psychological well-being, enhances professional development, facilitates empathy, improves relationships, and widens social networks.
When we only stay within our comfortable social media algorithms and tight in-person circles, we can get stuck in echo chambers, reinforcing what we already think we know. While this can provide identity and a sense of belonging, it can limit our exposure to new experiences. In this way, it is in our best interest to be willing to listen to different points of view, to fully hear someone else’s perspective before flinging verdicts on their intellect or integrity or viewing them as uninformed and biased.
Even reading this suggestion to consider being more open-minded may increase your anxiety and create tension in your body. But I’m not trying to change your mind per se; you just need to be open to expanding it.
In an ideal world, we want to aim to increase what psychologists call our “latitude of acceptance,” meaning a willingness to non-defensively consider ideas that others hold. Doing so does not guarantee we are going to change our minds, but it does show that we are ready to listen and consider others’ perspectives. If we simply hear what other people have to say but have no intention of expanding our hearts and minds, then we remain entrenched and defended. That’s not openness.
A willingness to consider others’ perspectives can be difficult in general, and particularly hard when the subject at hand is something that is near and dear to our hearts, such as religion and politics. If we are willing and motivated to practice being more open-minded, and if we want to set ourselves up for success, it might be easier to pick topics where we feel less defensive: Are dogs or cats better companions? Is it more enjoyable to watch a newly released film at home or in the cinema? Are you for or against pineapple on pizza? These topics may sound silly, but they invite dialogue and healthy conversation and disagreement. It also helps if we assume that people with alternative views from our own have good intentions. When we vilify people who think differently than we do, we are less able to be tolerant and open to understanding.
If there is one thing that I stress to my patients above all others, it’s the ability to loosen our grip in thinking we know everything and have all the answers. We’re human, so it’s not possible or even realistic to expect that every belief we hold is accurate. We may not have all the facts or understand all the circumstances.
I encourage the people I work with to put on their detective caps and determine if what they are thinking is true. This includes their unhelpful thinking about themselves, other people, and the world. It also includes how they interpret situations. I try to model open-mindedness, gathering data, looking at perspectives from different angles, and weighing the information fairly.
I asked Damion Grasso, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut, how he practices being open-minded in both his professional and personal life. He told me that in working with trauma-exposed youth and families, “Open-mindedness is essential. It helps me set aside assumptions, stay aware of my own biases, and create a therapeutic space where young people and caregivers feel heard, respected, and actively involved in the process of change.”
Grasso told me that in parenting, open-mindedness is also helpful. “Each of my four children has their own story, needs, values, and aspirations,” he said. “My job is to listen more than I speak and remember that I’m still learning too. I don’t have all the answers, and accepting that makes me both a better psychologist and father.”
I agree. Receptivity to alternative viewpoints is a wonderful attribute to practice and model for our children.
So how do we strengthen our ability to be open minded? A comprehensive review of interventions to increase open-mindedness revealed several effective approaches. One can be thought of as awareness training: teaching people about cognitive biases, for example confirmation bias, which is the inclination for people to trust too much in their preferred assumptions and to take in new information that fits their existing beliefs.
Another is perspective-taking interventions where one tries to imagine another person’s experiences and why they might think in a certain way. This can be enhanced by viewing a picture, video, or recording of the other person or using virtual reality technology to powerfully see their perspective.
These strategies seem to work particularly well when we meet another person and share our perspectives on their thinking. Another powerful tool is perspective-getting, which involves non-confrontationally asking another to share their outlooks. People can also learn to develop skills to navigate difficult conversations, such as engaging face-to-face rather than side by side, asking open-ended, curious questions, and using receptive language, such as expressing uncertainty, acknowledging mistakes, and finding points of agreement.
Of course, these interventions don’t always work and can backfire, making some even more entrenched in their beliefs. And while it is in our best interest to consider others’ beliefs, this is not always the case. Some views may go deeply against our core values, and that’s okay if we choose not to bend on those. But we can still benefit from being gracious and respectful toward others.
Imagine our workplaces, home life, and neighborhoods engaged in being more curious, reflective, and respectful. With an open-minded perspective, we could learn and accomplish many things together.
The post How to Keep an Open Mind appeared first on TIME.
