Going home with a guy for the first time means getting to see how he lives when he hasn’t had much time to prepare for company. Sometimes you’re pleasantly surprised. Other times, there’s a samurai sword in the shower.
And his apartment can tell you quite a bit about him. Psychologist Sam Gosling found that strangers could make surprisingly accurate judgments about certain personality traits just by looking around someone’s bedroom. So while you’re getting comfortable, you might want to pay attention to a few things.
1. The Sheets
A UK survey found that 45% of single men waited up to four months to wash their sheets. Four months. Another poll found dirty bedding was the biggest bedroom turnoff for 81% of women. A slightly unmade bed is one thing, but if there’s a sweat shadow, you might want to reconsider staying the night.
2. The Mattress on the Floor
A mattress on the floor in your early 20s? Sure. You’re broke, you’ve just moved out and furniture is expensive. But if he’s 35 and the rest of his apartment is fully furnished, you have to wonder why the bed frame is still missing.
3. The Bathroom
There’s one towel that’s been hanging there for an undisclosed amount of time, along with a bottle of three-in-one body wash. Fine, whatever. But having some toilet paper and a somewhat sanitary place to wash your hands seems like a fair expectation. And if there’s no shower curtain, how exactly has he been bathing?
4. The Kitchen
A fridge stocked exclusively with hot sauce and energy drinks is an interesting choice, but lots of people survive on takeout. The sink full of crusty dishes, though, is where things get questionable. Now you can’t stop thinking about how long they’ve been sitting there and when he last washed an actual plate.
5. The Wall Art
An old concert poster is harmless. A framed Wolf of Wall Street poster above the bed might inspire a few questions, especially if he’s really into Jordan Belfort. Gosling’s research has also associated inspirational posters with neuroticism. Make of that what you will when you spot a giant “Hustle Harder” print.
6. The Photo Situation
An old picture with an ex isn’t necessarily concerning, especially if it’s from a vacation or an important event. But several framed photos of the same woman around the apartment, with no explanation of who she is, would have me asking some questions before getting too comfortable.
Most of these things can be fixed with a trip to Target and an afternoon of cleaning. But women on Reddit have also described finding fist-sized holes punched through the drywall at a date’s house, and that’s a much better reason to grab your bag and leave. At least the sword in the shower makes for a funny story.
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