I adore the thought of my kids’ fingers covered in Zaddy sauce while eating a snow crab cluster, and their excitement as they bend the shell just right and devour a huge piece of meat after covering it with butter.
A night at Clawdaddy is one of my favorite dinners with my kids, 11 and 13. As a divorced mom, these meals out and the time we spend eating them together mean even more to me.
That’s why I never want to give them up, even if these nights out are getting more and more expensive.
I love having more time with my kids
My desire to frequently go out to eat with my kids comes from the limited time I have with them. They are with me every other week, so two weeks of the month, plus a Wednesday dinner when it isn’t my time.
I remember pleading for an extra Wednesday dinner during my divorce so that at least I could count on seeing my kids, who were 5 and 7 years old at the time, halfway through the week when I was apart from them.
For me, it meant there was always a dinner to plan or a reservation to make, and I looked forward to it. These dinners got me through the loneliness of adjusting to divorced motherhood.
Going out feels special
At first, going out to eat was a perfect way to adjust to this new chapter in our lives.
When the three of us shared a meal at a restaurant, I could feel the eyes of other diners on me, maybe wondering why I was alone having dinner with my young kids, but we just did our thing.
Sometimes it was the three of us sitting on the same side of the booth, and I loved it. I smiled as my kids pointed to what menu item they wanted to order, opened crayons, and I admired the drawing they were coloring. It felt special. We could be silly and laugh, and nothing mattered but us when we went out to eat. These dinners helped me feel more confident about being on my own that first year.
Sometimes we would hit up Olive Garden, or choose BBQ and ice cream, or maybe we’d go to Benihana for a surprise treat. As the years have gone by, going out to eat has only gotten more and more enjoyable, especially because my kids finally want to explore new foods and restaurants.
I still keep an eye on expenses
Eating out can get costly, but we do our best to stay within our means.
We usually end up dining out of the house around four times a month. Because of this, I plan our grocery budget around these outings.
I’m also spending less on other activities with my kids. Now, instead of buying tickets for the zoo, trampoline park, arcade, or the children’s museums (plus the gift shop and snacks) like I did when they were younger, I spend about the same amount of money going out to eat. It’s a new — and fun — way to make memories.
As my kids get older, I know these restaurant meals are a worthwhile investment. My kids have full schedules with long school days and extracurricular activities, and they are getting more independent, and want to spend time with their friends, so our limited time together can feel even more limited.
Our dinners are not just about food. We discuss life lessons, ups and downs I’ve lived through, and family stories. It’s easier to focus on all of that when I’m not busy prepping the meal, cleaning the dishes, or fighting with other distractions at home.
At the table, I’m full of gratitude, sitting with my favorite people. When the bill comes, it’s always worth every cent.
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