The 2005 Rob Schneider comedy Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo could never accurately be referred to as a critically acclaimed movie. In a front-page article featured in the Los Angeles Times, film critic Patrick Goldstein chastised Hollywood studios for bankrolling sequels like European Gigolo and referred to Schneider as a “third-rate comic.” Schneider wasn’t happy about this, and took out full-page ads in Daily Variety and The Hollywood Reporter attacking Goldstein and questioning his credentials. In particular, Schneider pointed out that Goldstein had never won any awards for his journalism.
Schneider also suggested that Goldstein hadn’t won a Pulitzer Prize because “they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny, Pompous Reporter.” “I can honestly say that if I sat with your colleagues at a luncheon, afterwards they’d say, ‘You know, that Rob Schneider is a pretty intelligent guy,’ whereas, if you sat with my colleagues, after lunch, you would just be beaten beyond recognition,” Schneider continued.
The Legendary Roger Ebert Review That Absolutely Torched Rob Schneider
Though he was a little late to the party, Pulitzer-winning critic Roger Ebert chimed in on the controversy in August of that year. “Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain,” Ebert wrote. “As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.”
Two years later, Ebert would release a book called Your Movie Sucks, which compiled some of his most scathing film reviews—including his zero-star review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Despite that, Ebert and Schneider made amends following Ebert’s thyroid cancer surgery in 2012.
On his website, Ebert revealed that Schneider sent him a bouquet of flowers and wished him a speedy recovery, signing his note, “Your Least Favorite Movie Star, Rob Schneider.” Of the flowers, Ebert said, “They were a reminder, if I needed one, that although Rob Schneider might (in my opinion) have made a bad movie, he is not a bad man, and no doubt tried to make a wonderful movie, and hopes to again. I hope so, too.”
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