When my three kids and I moved earlier this year, I carefully packed our clothes, books, and toys. But when it came time to box up the TV, I stopped. This move, I realized, was an opportunity for a fresh start. This could be the beginning of a television-free life.
I’d never considered having a TV-less household. Whenever I heard people proudly say, “We don’t have a TV,” I’d have to fight rolling my eyes.
But since becoming a mom, I felt like the TV slowly went from being one of my favorite appliances to my main adversary.
I just didn’t like how my kids, ages 5, 2, and 11 months, were so fixated on the screen. My older two asked to turn it on as soon as they woke up in the morning, and they begged to watch “just five more minutes” every evening before bedtime. Even my baby would drop his toys to crawl over to the TV when it was turned on.
And tantrums were not uncommon when the TV finally went off. They were like little Cookie Monsters on an episode of Sesame Street: unable to resist a treat I knew should only be consumed in moderation.
So, at the very end of moving day, I decided to rehome our screen.
Right away, I felt relieved and excited for a TV-free reset. But eight months in, I’ve accepted that a truly screen-free household didn’t quite work for us.
There are benefits to a home without a TV set
When we got to the new house, I was excited for our new, screen-free life. I pictured myself as one of those no-makeup-but-still-beautiful hippie moms, and we’d spend our time baking bread from scratch, going on barefoot nature walks, and having long conversations about our dreams at the dinner table. It’d be so peaceful and charming, like a cozy episode of Little House on the Prairie, but with indoor plumbing.
“Sorry, kids, there just isn’t a good spot for a TV at this house,” I said in a living room full of boxes. Standing tall, I tried to block the blank wall that I knew would perfectly house a mounted screen.
Somehow, they fell for it.
For the next few weeks, we lived without TV, and it was great. When the kids woke up in the morning, looking for something to do, they found toys and explored our new backyard.
My 5-year-old, who’d never shown an interest in art, started coloring — a lot. She’d barely been willing to color on kids’ menus just weeks before, and now she was filling coloring books, creating intricate chalk drawings on the patio, and making family portraits to tape up around the house.
We also devoured picture books. And when my voice was hoarse from reading, I’d find storyteller versions of classic fairy tales and play them on my phone. I got a little break, and they were getting a good education in the classics. (Plus, I preferred the narrators’ soothing voices to cartoons.)
However, we soon learned that TV is hard to resist
One day, about a month after the move, I had plans to go out for dinner with a friend and scheduled a babysitter.
I knew bedtime would be hard, this being the first time in the new house without me home. So, to make everything easier, I told our sitter she could let my older two watch an episode of Blue’s Clues on my laptop before bed. Having not seen TV in so long, they were thrilled. “New rule: a little TV on babysitter nights is OK,” I said to their cheers.
After that, whenever I scheduled the babysitter, my older kids watched something on my computer while she put the baby to bed. It worked great.
Then one week, we had the flu. The kids and I were feeling miserable, so we watched some comfort princess movies: Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast.
A couple of weeks later, I wanted to organize my closet, so I put on a couple of episodes of Bluey while I worked.
Suddenly, I realized my TV-free household wasn’t so TV-free.
I failed at having a truly TV-free household, but we’ve found a balance
Recently, my oldest woke up, found me in the kitchen, and asked if she could watch TV on my computer.
“Don’t you want to play? Or should we read a book?” I asked.
“No, I want to watch Spiderman,” she said.
I felt defeated. I’d tried to go TV-less, but TV had proven irresistible, and now we were back to waking up and wanting to watch shows right away. Was this all for naught?
With a sink full of dirty dishes and laundry to fold, I was willing to let my daughter watch something on my computer, but I realized I couldn’t. My computer was upstairs on my desk, out of battery. “Sorry, honey,” I said, looking around for the charger. “I need to find the cord to plug it in.”
We both looked for a minute, and when we couldn’t find it, we started doing other things. I finished the dishes and made breakfast, and she opened her coloring book.
I found the charger later, but I didn’t bother saying anything. She’d forgotten about the show.
Eight months after our move, my TV-free household has more TV than I thought it would. But I’ve realized the power in making screen time inconvenient. To watch something, my kids have to ask for my computer, bring it to the living room, make sure it’s charged, and then huddle together to watch the small screen. Most of the time, they find something else to do before they even make it up the stairs.
And not seeing the TV on a wall all day makes a big difference, too. At the old house, whenever they looked in the living room, they’d see the giant black screen first. Now, they see buckets of crayons and books first.
Now, movies and shows are more of a “special occasion” thing. We do have occasional movie nights, and other times, when I’m tired or just need to fold some laundry, I’ll put something on the computer.
But most of the time, I get to glimpse into the TV-free life I imagined. It’s a nice middle ground.
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