Emily O’Brien, 26, said in mid-July that she had about 200 pages to go in “Just for the Summer” by Abby Jimenez, before attending book club at a friend’s place the following week.
She loves attending the monthly meet-up, which friends take turns hosting at their homes in Philadelphia, a tradition they started roughly a year ago. She finished what she needed to read before gathering with her friends on a rooftop.
Talking about the book is less important than making sure the friends meet every month to catch up without breaking the bank, she said.
“It’s paying off more so than just an occasional dinner would, in my opinion, because you’re also sitting there and you just need to talk to one another,” O’Brien said.
She said that going out to dinner or happy hour every month can be expensive and hard to plan.
“Do I really want to end up paying 80 bucks for a dinner and drinks with friends? Or I could just stay in and then not spend that,” she said. “80 bucks now, I feel like, is different even than what 80 bucks was a year ago, where I’m like I need that for my groceries.”
Prices have skyrocketed since 2021, with food away from home rising about 32%, higher than food at home’s 27% increase, based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ consumer price index. The people who spoke to Business Insider find that hosting at home can mean more bang for their buck, since they’re sharing food and drinks among many instead of a pricey meal for one or two at a night out, and have leftovers to enjoy.
O’Brien is among the people in metros with a higher cost of living than the national average, bringing the “third place,” or the gathering space outside home and work, such as a coffee shop, into their “first place,” or where someone lives. Whether for cost-related reasons or easier than gathering in public, people who spoke to Business Insider were looking to make a real effort to bring people together by hosting.
“You either go to a third space to search out, or you can take responsibility and step up and volunteer to be the person in your community to make that happen,” said Kristin Greene, who is in her 50s, and hosts a craft club on the third Tuesday of the month at her San Francisco home.
Here’s what some people are doing to intentionally foster community without going to a public space.
Taking turns hosting a book club
O’Brien hosted the book club twice, one of which she picked up brunch items from Trader Joe’s, made floral arrangements, and set up a coffee bar with her Nespresso machine. She estimates she spent about $50 on the first session she hosted and about $75 on the other, but that’s because she wanted to, and it doesn’t have to be the case for everyone who wants to start bringing people together. O’Brien said people sometimes bring wine or an extra snack, yet the group has found it’s best for the host to handle the rest, since everyone takes turns.
She thinks it can be easy to avoid social situations because she lives alone, often visits her boyfriend, and wants to avoid the cost of going out. The book club keeps O’Brien accountable for staying connected with others, and although she likes to spend money when she hosts, she thinks it’s worth it because it’s an activity that brings her a lot of joy.
Prices for food away from home, including dining out, and food at home, including groceries, have both grown about 36% from June 2019 to June 2026 in Philadelphia’s metro area.
Building a community at home in one of the most expensive metros
Ariel and Cyrus Kashfian, who are in their 30s, have an open invitation for anyone who knows them or their plus ones to come to their Los Angeles apartment for Shabbat on Fridays.
They also participate in other forms of hosting: Ariel is part of a monthly book club that rotates hosts, and the couple has hosted a murder mystery night with plans for another, among other gatherings.
Cyrus said he likes bringing people together because he wouldn’t otherwise see his friends. “If I don’t make something happen, they aren’t the ones to make plans and host and put things on the calendar,” he said. He also thinks that going out to dinner continuously can get monotonous and feel less personal.
“We could go out with friends and stuff like that, but it’s harder to get close to people and to really spend quality time with them if you’re not just together in someone’s home or doing something in a very private environment,” he said.
Ariel, who said she and Cyrus are from family-oriented cultures, likes having people over and the positive effects it could have on their two children. “I want my kids to grow up with people always in and out and laughter and warmth,” she said. “That’s probably the most important part of growing up, is seeing people in your life that just show up for you and want to be around you and have fun.”
The children can also go to their rooms to play if they need a break from company, making it easier on the Kashfians than if they were taking care of their kids while out with friends.
Plus, the couple lives in one of the most expensive metro areas in the US, based on regional price parities. “The price of going out in LA has become very, very, very high for a one-and-a-half-hour dinner,” Ariel said. “You get more bang for your buck having people over at your house.”
Ariel said she made a pot roast, mashed potatoes, salads, and sides for their murder mystery night. While that added up pretty quickly in cost, she said they had leftovers, and everyone was happy with how the night turned out.
“It was a memory that people will have for a very long time,” she said. “Money and value are not also the same. You’re getting a lot more for your dollar when you’re hosting people, and doing an activity that’s interesting and fun.”
Working on projects at craft club
Greene, who hosts a craft club in San Francisco, fills her dining room each month with people enjoying each other’s company over bowls of soup. Her guests work on various projects, from knitting and embroidery to jewelry making and photo editing.
The craft club started after an experimental craft night at the book club she attends. She said other attendees wanted to do that again, so Greene, a needlepointer who sees value in crafting in a community setting, took the initiative and has been hosting pretty consistently since February 2025.
“I finally was sick of us talking about hosting craft club and just decided to go for it, and I think many of us were also just really feeling like the world is complex and challenging, and so looking for pockets of optimism and hope and community,” she said.
She had some crafts out in case people didn’t have anything, but it has turned into people bringing their own projects while they talk. While it started with some people from the book club, it’s a mix of participants from Greene’s life, including college friends, a former colleague, and a friend of a friend reconnected with at a Fourth of July picnic. It also includes people who are new to her but one to two degrees connected by other women in the club.
At the most recent gathering, she was needlepointing and offered cumin orange black bean soup, as she tries to make a different homemade soup each time. She landed on soup because it’s fairly easy, removes decision fatigue, and is affordable. Attendees have brought items over the months, such as sourdough bread and treats.
“I am a person who is really committed to making community, and I’ve been in communities and groups where we’ve created what a lot of people get out of third spaces, but we’re hosting them ourselves,” Greene said.
More space to bring people together
O’Brien, the book clubber in Philadelphia, said hosting has inspired a desire to get a larger apartment than her 650-square-foot one, which she uses as her “second place,” since she works remotely. “My kitchen, my hosting area, my living room, and my office are in the same four walls,” she said, adding that she likes that they take turns hosting so she can get out of her space.
Andrea Bryson, 30, moved from a studio for herself to a larger apartment where she’s sharing space with her boyfriend in Chicago. That means she has more room to host. She did a soup gathering in the fall, in which people brought their own bowls and spoons, as well as bread and soup to share; a show-and-tell art party featuring meat and cheese snacks brought by guests; a sushi-making night; game nights, and craft nights where people brought their own supplies and hung out.
Bryson likes being able to bring people together at home because the costs can add up quickly if going out in Chicago.
“I do find that I try to limit how much I’m spending when I’m eating out, and if I were to go out and buy drinks and appetizers every time I wanted to see my friends, I think that would add up pretty quickly,” Bryson said.
Food away from home in the Chicago metro area has increased more so than in the Philadelphia area, at 40% from June 2019 to June 2026.
Other ways to connect
Those who might not have the means to host at home and don’t want to spend money can seek digital third places.
“You can have really rich connections where you are helping each other, answering questions, cheering each other on,” Greene, who is part of a weekly virtual meditation group with women around the world and a Discord group about needlepoint, said. “They require almost the same amount of effort to create them.”
Bryson said social media can be beneficial in finding third places and groups, or being in a fitness community like she is can be a good way to find people. Her third places are mainly around an active lifestyle, like swimming at a pool or meeting up at the lakefront in Chicago.
Bryson said it takes time to find the right spots. She said third places that are businesses like bars and cafés mean spending money, so a way to find free third places could be public parks and outdoor spaces, such as people doing crafts together at a park meet-up.
If people do want to get into hosting, Ariel said it doesn’t have to be as elaborate as you may see on social media. She said sometimes it can be themed, while other times it can be chicken, salad, and a bowl of rice from the store to share with others from the comfort of your home.
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