When I started planning a trip to Scotland with my 17-year-old daughter, I knew we wanted to spend some time in Edinburgh and then visit the Isle of Skye.
The logistics of the trip were a little overwhelming — as the only adult, I would be responsible for all the driving. And even more stressful was the thought of having to drive on the “wrong” side of the road, which I’ve never done before.
The natural choice was to visit Edinburgh on our own, then book a group tour for the Isle of Skye. The tour we decided to join has received great reviews for its small-group experiences, but would my daughter feel out of place among what I thought would be a group of retirees? I wasn’t so sure.
Our group was surprisingly diverse
Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. At age 50, I was probably the oldest member of our group after our tour guide. Joining us on this three-day tour were a couple on their extended honeymoon, a brother-sister pair who met up every year in a new destination, and a couple leaving their toddler at home with the grandparents for the first time.
The group was small enough that we quickly learned a little about one another. We shared meals, traded travel stories, and got to know each other as we drove through the Scottish Highlands. There was no pressure for my daughter to make friends, but she naturally became part of the group.
What really surprised me was how well my daughter did, chatting easily with other tour group members over shared meals, even though she was the youngest person by decades.
I thought I would be the one looking out for her
I had expected to be the one looking out for her during the trip. Instead, she often surprised me by looking out for me.
On one hike, the terrain was slippery and uneven. While I was carefully watching my footing, my daughter was the one helping me navigate the trail. She was more confident than I was in some situations and seemed to take genuine pleasure in being able to help. It was wonderful to see her in this new way.
It’s easy for me to assume the role I’ve always had as her mother: the person who handles the logistics, solves problems, carries the snacks, and makes sure everyone gets where they need to go. Even as my kids get older, I can fall back into those familiar habits.
But on this trip, our roles were often reversed. She chatted easily with our tour guide and helped me figure out where we were going when I got turned around on the busy streets of Edinburgh.
Of course, she still needed me, but traveling together in Scotland gave me a glimpse of the adult she is becoming.
I realized I might be more ready for her to leave than I thought
As she heads off to college soon, I know she will have to navigate new places, unfamiliar people, and unexpected challenges without me by her side. As a parent, it can be difficult to imagine that transition. But our trip to Scotland made me feel a little more prepared for it.
I’m savoring my days with her and feeling a little better about her going out into the world. I may not be ready to stop being her mom, but after seeing how grown-up she has become, I feel more confident that she is ready to take some steps without me.
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