When you dive into the dating scene, you might be tempted to share your experiences with loved ones. That horrid first date story would be a hit in your friend’s group chat. The slow-burn connection you’re building with your guy friend will undoubtedly make your mom happy. And those luxurious dates your situationship is taking you on would make for an aesthetic Instagram post.
But is there danger of sharing too much of your dating life—even with those closest to you? It depends on your intentions, of course. But in my experience, the more you date for validation, the less authentic your connections will be. If you’re immediately updating your social circle with the latest dating pros and woes, then you might want to take a step back and reflect for a bit.
Dating is an incredibly intimate experience, and oversharing can harm even the strongest of connections. This is why so many singles are keeping it tight-lipped and embracing the “quiet dating” trend.
What Is Quiet Dating?
Quiet dating is essentially a more private form of dating, where you actively pursue love for yourself rather than for external validation. You might shy away from sharing details with your parents or updating your friends on your latest fling, and you avoid posting your relationship status online for the world to see.
The idea was coined by Kimberly Bizu, host of the podcast Rich Little Broke Girls. She told Bustle the trend is “a more relaxed approach to connection where you aren’t chasing labels, milestones, or validation, but exploring what feels good and learning what you actually want.”
Sounds like a positive dating trend to me—as long as no one feels like they’re being kept a secret, of course. Both parties must be on board with the dynamic. Otherwise, there might be underlying resentment or fear of being hidden.
How to ‘Quiet Date’ Like a Pro
In action, quiet dating looks different for everyone. One person might keep their relationship offline, while another might not even introduce their partner to friends and family until they’re 100% sure of the connection.
Quiet dating is a great way to empower yourself in the dating world. Too often, many of us rely on external validation when making personal choices. But who knows us better than ourselves? We must learn to trust our own judgment and intuition when getting to know a potential romantic partner. Rather than seeking advice or reassurance from a friend, turn inward and ask yourself: Does this connection feel good to me? Do I want to continue building a foundation with this person? You’ll know the answers.
However, there comes a time when quiet dating can feel a bit too… well, quiet. If you’ve been dating your partner for months and are still avoiding introducing them to your loved ones or sharing them online, they might wonder whether you’re hiding them. In which case, it’s important to reflect on why, exactly, you’re so adamant about integrating them more fully into your life. Maybe you fear they won’t fit in, or perhaps you have a desire to protect your relationship from external judgments or pressures. Either way, you should process and work through these emotional experiences, as they might become barriers over time.
The post Introducing ‘Quiet Dating,’ the Trend for People Tired of Performing Their Love Lives Online appeared first on VICE.
