In recent days, our timelines have broken out into a huge, sprawling fight about when the “hipster era” really was, who hipsters really were, and—by extension—what music they were actually listening to. It felt like an argument that was made for us to step into and settle.
So, here it is: the definitive timeline of what hipsters were soundtracking their lives with between 2000 and 2014 (even if they’ll now tell you otherwise), beginning at the dawn of electroclash and terminating in Future Islands’ performance of “Seasons (Waiting on You)” on Letterman in the summer of that final year, which always felt like an elegy to something more than one funny little man’s on-off love affair. With 12 years’ hindsight, the footage now registers as a farewell to an entire era of hipster irony that in Samuel T. Herring found both its ultimate expression and final boss: a dancing American dressed all in black, grappling with sincerity and frightening people with his feelings while some synths buzz in the background.
As we said, this week has seen multiple sides engaging in a form of ideological warfare over who and what “hipsters” really were. At some point in the late 00s, for reasons we’ll attempt to pin down later, there was a bifurcation in the hipster chronology that resulted in a “dark timeline” running in parallel to its primary stream. Populating what we might call the “Stomp Clap Hey” timeline, these dismal abstractions—kitted out in glassless glasses, silly scarves, waxed ‘taches, and toques—displayed no real interest in progressive music or fashion (or, come to think of it, fun) and as such weren’t really “hipsters” at all, but retrograde copyists engaged in a twee and stoic reenactment of the hipsterisms they’d seen in ads and social media posts (perhaps on an iPhone, millions of which had been tossed into the world like unpinned grenades in 2007). By 2008, “hipsters” in places like New York City, LA, London, and Paris were utterly different from what a “hipster” was anywhere outside of the major cities. We’ll explore this argument in an accompanying article to follow; for now, the crux is really this: While the hipster timeline is elastic and forgiving, no church is so broad that it can possibly welcome both FannyPack and Mumford & Sons into its flock.
An important disclaimer: These bands and their music aren’t necessarily things that we ever thought were (or should be considered) “hip,” they simply make up a chronology of what was widely accepted as such by the zeitgeist. (For better or for worse, the zeitgeist is yet to fully endorse Nurse With Wound, La Monte Young, Nisennenmondai, Death In June, Munly J Munly, or any of the other acts lurking in the most arcane parts of your record collection.) We have tried to make sense of shifts in styles and tastes by injecting the timeline with key events in TV, cinema, tech, fashion, and the economy, though really, as with any attempt to make sense of the world as it was a quarter of a century ago, this is a doomed act of hazy guesswork. However, as figments of the past emerge through the mist, there are certain things that even with the passage of time seem undeniable: the first 14 years of the century was a boomtime for silly new microgenres, the relationship between music and synthetic drug consumption is perhaps underplayed in this era, and—for a fleeting moment at least—Animal Collective really did feel like the biggest band on Earth.
Oh: and 2009 was definitely, inarguably, when the hipster era peaked.
vice’s ‘HIPSTER MUSIC’ TIMELINE:
2000—2014
2000
––––––THE WORLD GIVES UP ON BRITPOP
––––––PITCHFORK, NEWLY RELOCATED TO CHICAGO FROM MINNEAPOLIS, AWARDS RADIOHEAD’S CONTROVERSIALLY GUITAR-FREE ELECTRONICA ALBUM KID A 10.0 (“I HAD NEVER SEEN A SHOOTING STAR BEFORE”)
––––––UNION POOL OPENS IN WILLIAMSBURG
––––––TEENS WORLDWIDE DESTROY THEIR FAMILY DESKTOP COMPUTERS DOWNLOADING VIRUS-RIDDLED MP3s FROM NAPSTER, LIMEWIRE, AND KAZAA
––––––ALL TOMORROW’S PARTIES FESTIVAL (ATP) TAKES OVER A HOLIDAY CAMP IN THE UK FOR ITS FIRST WEEKEND-LONG EVENT (THE CONCEPT: GET WASTED WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS IN A CHALET THEN GO SEE SOME OF THE BEST BANDS OF ALL TIME). MOGWAI CURATES THE LINEUP, WHICH FEATURES SONIC YOUTH, APHEX TWIN, AND SOMETHING CALLED “BOBBY GILLESPIE’S HAIR”
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Peaches, Chicks On Speed, Le Tigre, Fischerspooner, Melt-Banana, Cat Power, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Bright Eyes, Radiohead, Mogwai, Merzbow, Modest Mouse, Felix Da Housecat, GAS, …And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Electroclash
Song That Was Huge: Peaches, “Fuck the Pain Away”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Life Without Buildings, “The Leanover”
2001
––––––DFA RECORDS FOUNDED IN NEW YORK CITY
––––––THE STROKES APPEAR ON THE COVER OF NME, RELEASE DEBUT ALBUM
––––––GRAFFITI ARTIST DASH SNOW STARTS TO GLAMORIZE 2000s DOWNTOWN NYC, TAKING POLAROIDS OF HIS FRIENDS AND THEIR GENITALIA
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Erol Alkan, Moldy Peaches, Broken Social Scene, The Shins, The Parkinsons, Har Mar Superstar, Destroyer, Ikara Colt, The Icarus Line, A.R.E. Weapons, The Strokes, Roots Manuva, Microphones, Liars, Neutral Milk Hotel (still)
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: The Scene With No Name
Song That Was Huge: Fischerspooner, “Emerge”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Golden Boy & Miss Kittin, “Rippin Kittin”
2002
––––––“LOSING MY EDGE” BY LCD SOUNDSYSTEM “HARD LAUNCHES” HIPSTER ERA
––––––IN THE UK, GONZO LAUNCHES ON MTV2, FEATURING ZANE LOWE AND A DISGUSTING BROWN LEATHER COUCH
––––––THE LIBERTINES SPARK WAVE OF “GUERRILLA GIGS” IN LONDON, BY REGULARLY PERFORMING FOR SCHOOLCHILDREN IN THEIR BETHNAL GREEN FLAT
What Hipsters Were Listening to: The Libertines, Soulwax / 2manydjs, LCD Soundsystem, The Rapture, Interpol, The Radio Dept, Radio 4, Q and Not U, Ladytron, FannyPack, DJ Shadow
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: The “mash up”
Song That Was Huge: Liam Lynch, “My United States of Whatever”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Ikara Colt, “Sink Venice”
2003
––––––MYSPACE FOUNDED, SELECTING WHO APPEARS IN YOUR “TOP 8” (AND IN WHAT ORDER) QUICKLY BECOMES #1 LIFE PRIORITY
––––––LOS ANGELES DIY VENUE THE SMELL SURVIVES CLOSURE OVER CITY CODE VIOLATIONS
––––––MANAGER OF DAFT PUNK BUSY P LAUNCHES ED BANGER RECORDS IN PARIS
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Unicorns, WHY?, !!!!, Xiu Xiu, Lightning Bolt, Songs: Ohia, Deerhoof, Dizzee Rascal, HORSE the Band, The Books, British Sea Power, Blood Brothers, Help She Can’t Swim, Devendra Banhart
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Sasscore / Nintendocore
Song That Was Huge: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Maps”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: !!!, “Me and Giuliani Down by the School Yard – A True Story”
2004
––––––GARDEN STATE IN CINEMAS
––––––AN ARTICLE IN SPIN INTRODUCES DEVENDRA BANHART, KIMYA DAWSON, ANIMAL COLLECTIVE, JOANNA NEWSOM, AND COCOROSIE AS THE VANGUARD OF THE NEW “FREAK FOLK” MOVEMENT
––––––“INDIE SLEAZE” PART I (GARAGE ROCK ERA) PEAKS
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Death From Above 1979, Arcade Fire, Test Icicles, TV on the Radio, Arctic Monkeys, The Knife, Danger Mouse, Black Mountain / Pink Mountaintops, DIG!, CocoRosie, Phoenix, Feist, Ratatat, Joanna Newsom, Wolf Eyes, Black Dice, Animal Collective
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Freak Folk
Song That Was Huge: The Walkmen, “The Rat”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Pink Mountaintops, “Tourist in Your Town”
2005
––––––AMERICAN APPAREL SUPREMACY BEGINS
––––––PRIMAVERA SOUND MOVES TO PARC DEL FORUM
––––––RADIOHEAD HEADLINES COACHELLA, SENDING THE FESTIVAL SUPERNOVA FOR THE FIRST TIME
What Hipsters Were Listening to: M83, Bloc Party, Crystal Castles, Anthony & the Johnsons, Ariel Pink, Sufjan Stevens, The National, Gang Gang Dance, MGMT, Wolf Parade, Final Fantasy, Germlin, The Vichy Government, Prurient
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Bloghaus / Hypnagogic Pop / Thamesbeat Revival / Blackgaze
Song That Was Huge: Arctic Monkeys, “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”
Song That Should’ve Been (Even) Huge(r): Crystal Castles, “Alice Practice”
2006
––––––BUDDYHEAD ERA ENDS
––––––BLOG HAUS SEES PARIS JOIN LONDON AND NEW YORK CITY AS THE HIPSTER TIMELINE’S THIRD CAPITAL
––––––VIVA RADIO LAUNCHES
––––––NU-RAVE GOES GLOBAL
––––––NATHAN BARLEY AIRS
––––––HEDI SLIMANE PUTS THE “HEDI BOYS” OF SOUTHEND’S JUNK CLUB SCENE ON DIOR CATWALKS
––––––HYPE MACHINE LAUNCHES
––––––YOUTUBE LAUNCHES
––––––MYSPACE EXPANDS “TOP FRIENDS” FEATURE FROM 8 SELECTIONS TO 24, TURNING UNDERGROUND BANDS INTO PRIMARY TASTEMAKERS
––––––EVERYONE GETS REALLY INTO J DILLA
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Uffie, Simian Mobile Disco, Justice, DJ Medhi, Digitalism, Klaxons, The Gossip, MIA, Bit Shifter, J Dilla, Jay Reatard, Fucked Up, Los Campesinos!, Beirut, Kap Bambino, MSTRKRFT, Beach House, Band of Horses, John Maus, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, Girl Talk, The Field, posthumous Arthur Russell B-sides
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Nu-Rave
Song That Was Huge: Justice vs Simian, “We Are Your Friends”
Another Song That Was Huge That We Can’t Not Mention: The Gossip, “Standing in the Way of Control”
2007
––––––SKINS SEASON 1 AIRS
––––––ED REC, VOL 1. RELEASED
––––––20 JAZZ FUNK GREATS SEEDS ENTIRE BLOGOSPHERE
––––––HOLLERBOARD BECOMES THE GLOBAL CHURCH OF EDM AND DIPLO IS ANOINTED HIGH PRIEST
––––––SOUNDCLOUD FOUNDED
––––––LA BLOGOTHÈQUE LAUNCHES “TAKE AWAY SHOWS”
––––––INDIE SLEAZE PART II (BLOGHAUS ERA) PEAKS
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Burial, Bon Iver, Panda Bear, Dan Deacon, Yeasayer, Foals, El Guincho, Fuck Buttons, Battles, These New Puritans, Hype Williams, Dean Blunt, The Teenagers, Late of the Pier, White Williams, Black Lips, Rustie, Glass Candy, Chromatics [and the other Italians Do It Better groups], Dirty Projectors, The xx, Chromeo
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Nu Italo / Wonky / Chamber Pop
Song That Was Huge: The Teenagers, “Homecoming”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: These New Puritans, “Navigate, Navigate”
2008
––––––WIDESPREAD ADOPTION OF THE iPHONE
––––––TUMBLR IS BORN
––––––ARCTIC MONKEYS START WEARING COWBOY HATS, BRITISH GUITAR MUSIC TAPS OUT OF THE HIPSTER TIMELINE
––––––GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS
What Hipsters Were Listening to: No Age, Abe Vigoda [and the rest of Los Angeles’ The Smell scene], Deerhunter, Telepathe, Fleet Foxes, Salem, Memory Cassette / Weird Tapes / Memory Tapes, Times New Viking, Nite Jewel, Flying Lotus, Vampire Weekend, James Ferraro, Steel Train, Girls, Chair Lift, Monotonix, Arch M, Lightspeed Champion, The Cool Kids, be your own PET, Pens, Hot Chip, Zomby, The Bug
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Witch House / Shitgaze / Lo-Fi / Nu-Gamelan
Song That Was Huge: Santigold, “L.E.S Artistes”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Arch M, “Cat Grave”
2009
––––––AMERICAN APPAREL SUPREMACY ENDS
––––––CAPTURED TRACKS LAUNCHES
––––––POST-DUBSTEP EMERGES, GENRE BOUNDARIES BEGIN FULL COLLAPSE
––––––ATP GOES GLOBAL, HOSTING ITS FIRST FESTIVAL IN NEW YORK—FEATURING MY BLOODY VALENTINE, MEAT PUPPETS, AND DINOSAUR JR.—AND CURATES STAGES AT PRIMAVERA SOUND (BARCELONA) AND PITCHFORK FESTIVAL (CHICAGO)
––––––THE “GREAT BIFURCATION” AS THE “STOMP CLAP HEY” TIMELINE BEGINS
––––––THE HIPSTER TIMELINE PEAKS, ALLOWING US 4 x “SONGS THAT WERE HUGE”
What Hipsters Were Listening to: HEALTH, Joy Orbison, Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, Washed Out, Blank Dogs, Wavves, Best Coast, Lil B, Wild Nothing, Jay Electronica, Kurt Vile, Fuck Buttons, The xx, Real Estate, Teengirl Fantasy, Hockey
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Vaporwave / Chillwave / Glo Fi / Beachgaze
Songs That Were Huge: Animal Collective, “My Girls” / Washed Out, “Feel It All Around” / Atlas Sound ft. Noah Lennox, “Walkabout” / The Juan Maclean, “Happy House”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Oneohtrix Point Never, “Nobody Here”
2010
––––––THE DEATH OF JAY REATARD
––––––SUFJAN STEVENS CONFIRMS THAT HIS “50 STATES” PROJECT WAS A JOKE
––––––HIPSTER RUNOFF PEAKS
––––––TRI ANGLE RECORDS ESTABLISHED
––––––PITCHFORK LAUNCHES ALTERED ZONES, BEGINNING END OF BLOG ERA
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Death Grips, James Blake, Actress, LA Vampires, Twin Shadow, Drake, Wu Lyf, Robyn, Woods, Toro y Moi, Here We Go Magic, Perfume Genius, Male Bonding, Gayngs, Jai Paul, Das Racist, Darwin Deez, Gold Panda, Rangers, Girl Unit [and the other Night Slugs artists], Swans, Waka Flocka Flame, Earl Sweatshirt
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Post-Dubstep
Song That Was Huge: Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti, “Hold On”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: LA Vampires, “So Unreal”
2011
––––––LANA DEL REY ARRIVES
––––––DRIVE IN CINEMAS
––––––MYSPACE SOLD TO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
––––––NTS FOUNDED
––––––ALICE GLASS PUNCHES A FAN AT LATITUDE FESTIVAL
––––––KREAYSHAWN DROPS “GUCCI GUCCI”
––––––PITCHFORK RELOCATES TO NEW YORK CITY
––––––ATP INAUGURATES SISTER FESTIVAL I’LL BE YOUR MIRROR, HOLDING EVENTS IN TOKYO, LONDON, AND NEW JERSEY
––––––THE DEATH OF AMY WINEHOUSE
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Frank Ocean, Grimes, The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey, The War on Drugs, Omar Souleyman, St Vincent, tUnE-yArDs, Tyler The Creator, Cults, Yuck, Iceage, Lykke Li, DIIV, Trash Talk, SBTRKT
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Bro Step
Song That Was Huge: Azealia Banks, “212”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: Patrice & Friends, “Obvious”
2012
––––––LAUNCH OF SPOTIFY IN THE US
––––––PORTLANDIA AIRS
What Hipsters Were Listening to: Sky Ferreira, Mac DeMarco, Kendrick Lamar, Fun., “I Love It” (Charli XCX arrives), Cloud Nothings, Japandroids, Tame Impala, The Men, everyone loves Bobby Womack for five minutes, Cigarettes After Sex
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Bedroom Pop
Song That Was Huge: Grimes, “Oblivion”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: The Laurels, “Manic Saturday”
2013
––––––FINAL SEASON OF SKINS AIRS
––––––PRIMAVERA SOUND STOPS PROVIDING FREE BAR TO VIPS
––––––GIRLS PREMIERES
––––––SOUNDCLOUD RAP
––––––SPRING BREAKERS IN CINEMAS
––––––YEEZUS
––––––HOLOGRAM 2PAC
––––––THE GRAMMYS: “WHO IS BONNIE BEAR?”
––––––ATP ANNOUNCES ITS FINAL “END OF AN ERA” FESTIVALS, THE LAST RESIDENTIAL EVENTS IT WILL HOLD IN THE UK. HOPE REMAINS THAT, IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER, IT WILL CONTINUE BOOKING BANDS WELL INTO THE FUTURE, BUT IT EVENTUALLY GOES BUST THREE YEARS LATER, CANCELING A THREE-DAY EVENT AT A FORMER NATO BASE IN ICELAND
––––––PC MUSIC FOUNDED
What Hipsters Were Listening to: A$AP Rocky, Yung Lean, Haim, Arca, Deafheaven, SOPHIE, Migos, Parquet Courts, Courtney Barnett, Lorde, Fat White Family, King Krule, “Hey QT”, “Bound 2”
Dubious Microgenre(s) of the Year: Cloud Rap
Song That Was Huge: A$AP Rocky, “Pesos”
Song That Should’ve Been Huge: DJ Babestation, “B My Gurl”
2014
––––––FUTURE ISLANDS APPEARS ON LETTERMAN, THE HIPSTER ERA ENDS
THE “STOMP CLAP HEY” TIMELINE:
CHRONOLOGY OF AN ABERRATION
2008—present
2008
–––––ARCTIC MONKEYS START WEARING COWBOY HATS
–––––FOR EMMA, FOREVER AGO, BON IVER’S SELF-RELEASED DEBUT ALBUM, RECEIVES A WIDER RELEASE AND UNANIMOUS CRITICAL ACCLAIM
–––––FLEET FOXES’ SELF-TITLED DEBUT ALBUM RELEASES, TO HUGE PRAISE
–––––“5 YEARS TIME” BY NOAH AND THE WHALE (FT. LAURA MARLING) RELEASES, STARTS WHISTLING ITS WAY TO 186.5 MILLION SPOTIFY PLAYS (AND COUNTING)
–––––YEASAYER’S DEBUT ALBUM ALL HOUR CYMBALS, A DE-WEIRDING OF ANIMAL COLLECTIVE RELEASED LATE 2007, COMES TO MAINSTREAM ATTENTION
–––––GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS MAKES IT HARDER FOR YOUNG PROVINCIALS TO MOVE TO MAJOR CITIES TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GENERATION OF NEW HIPSTER CULTURE
–––––FIRST SEASON OF SONS OF ANARCHY AIRS
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: Noah and the Whale, Fleet Foxes, Iron & Wine
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Banjopunk
Song That Was Huge: Noah and the Whale, “5 Years Time”
2009
–––––THE iPHONE, LAUNCHED 2007, BROADCASTS HIPSTERISM TO THE WORLD VIA SOCIAL MEDIA
––––––INSTEAD OF WIT, IRONY, WEIRD MUSIC, AND STUPID CLOTHES, WE HAVE YOUNG PEOPLE DRESSED AS PROHIBITION-ERA MIXOLOGISTS WRITING ULTRA-SINCERE AMERICANA AND WHINY FOLK SONGS FOR INSURANCE ADVERTS, ARMY DAD REUNION VIDS, AND BOOMER FUNERALS
–––––100 DAYS OF SUMMER IN CINEMAS
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: Mumford & Sons, Train, Matt and Kim
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Claphouse
Song That Was Huge: Mumford & Sons, “Little Lion Man”
2010
–––––ALL TEN MEMBERS OF EDWARD SHARPE AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROS CRAM INTO THE NPR OFFICES (“CLAD IN THE SAME CLOTHES THEY’D WORN AT A CONCERT THE NIGHT BEFORE”) TO PERFORM A TINY DESK SHOW; THE FOOTAGE RESURFACES 15 YEARS LATER AND EVERYONE ARGUES ABOUT IT
–––––GRIZZLY BEAR’S “TWO WEEKS” FEATURES IN A VOLKSWAGEN ADVERT AIRED DURING SUPERBOWL XLIV
–––––POPJUSTICE’S PETER ROBINSON COINS THE TERM “THE NEW BORING”
–––––MARCUS MUMFORD AND LAURA MARLING SPLIT UP
–––––TRAIN’S “HEY, SOUL SISTER” IS DONE A CAPPELLA ON GLEE
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Ben Howard, Paper Kites, Young The Giant
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Post Hey
Song That Was Huge: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, “Home”
2011
–––––A SECOND BON IVER ALBUM HITS THE MUSIC INDUSTRY
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: Of Monsters and Men, The Head and the Heart, GROUPLOVE, The Drums
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Badgercore
Song That Was Huge: Gotye, “Somebody That I Used to Know”
2012
–––––BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN RELEASES HIS “STOMP CLAP HEY” RECORD, WRECKING BALL
–––––FRANK TURNER PERFORMS AT LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY
–––––JAMES ARTHUR WINS THE X FACTOR IN THE UK, TURBOCHARGING GLOBAL TREND FOR BIG MILLENNIAL GUYS WITH NECK TATTOOS AND LUMBERJACK SHIRTS SINGING POWER BALLADS FOR GRANDMAS ON TV TALENT SHOWS
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: The Lumineers, Passenger, Lord Huron
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Nu Stomp
Song That Was Huge: The Lumineers, “Ho Hey”
2013
–––––TAYLOR SWIFT COVERS “HO HEY” DURING THE RED TOUR
–––––“LET HER GO” BY PASSENGER USED IN BUDWEISER COMMERCIAL SHOWN DURING SUPER BOWL XLVIII
–––––“STOMP CLAP HEY”-CODED MEGA HITS ARRIVE FOR ONEREPUBLIC AND AVICII, RUINING IRISH PUBS FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT 13 YEARS
–––––“STOMP CLAP HEY” MUSIC NOW INESCAPABLE IN ALL PUBLIC AND SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES: FROM AIRPORT TOILETS TO TAXIS TO SMASH BURGER RESTAURANTS TO COFFEE SHOPS; NO LONGER A DISTINCT SOUND OR SCENE BUT A PERMANENT COMPONENT PART OF THE AMBIENT FABRIC OF LIFE, LIKE CHRISTMAS MUSIC YOU CAN’T GET AWAY FROM, BUT ALL-YEAR ROUND
What “Stomp Clap Hey” Hipsters Were Listening to: Vance Joy, Hozier, George Ezra
Dubious SCY Microgenre of the Year: Cucktronica
Song That Was Huge: Vance Joy, “Riptide”
2014
–––––TAYLOR SWIFT COVERS “RIPTIDE” FOR BBC RADIO ONE’S LIVE LOUNGE
–––––CEREAL KILLER CAFÉ OPENS ON BRICK LANE, LONDON
2015
––––––DAVID LACHAPELLE VIDEO OF UKRAINIAN BALLERINA SERGEI POLUNIN DANCING TO HOZIER’S “TAKE ME TO CHURCH”
–––––SPOTIFY’S DINNER WITH FRIENDS PLAYLIST RUINS DINNER WITH FRIENDS FOREVER
2016
–––––DONALD TRUMP ELECTED PRESIDENT
–––––YOGA ENTHUSIASTS BECOME ABSOLUTELY BEGUILED BY THE STOMPHISTICATED FOLK OF BIG THIEF
2017
–––––JAMES BAY TAKES OFF HIS HAT
2018
–––––“OLD TOWN ROAD”
–––––FIRST SEASON OF TAYLOR SHERIDAN’S YELLOWSTONE AIRS
2019
–––––HOZIER FORCES NYC COMMUTERS TO LISTEN TO HIM SING “TAKE ME TO CHURCH”
–––––GLOBAL COVID-19 PANDEMIC BRIEFLY THREATENS TO DESTROY “STOMP CLAP HEY”, TURNING HALF ITS ADHERENTS INTO MASK-THROWING ANTI VAXXERS, WHILE THE OTHER HALF SECRETLY ENJOY SITTING AT HOME CLAPPING AND FEELING LIKE RUGGED SURVIVALISTS BECAUSE THEY MAKE THEIR OWN BREAD SOMETIMES
2020
–––––TED LASSO
–––––NATIONAL MASON JAR SHORTAGE DECLARED IN AMERICA
2021
–––––MUMFORD & SONS’ LEAD GUITARIST QUITS THE BAND FOLLOWING BACKLASH OVER TWEET SUPPORTING ANDY NGO
2022
–––––ARMENIA ENTERS A “STOMP CLAP HEY” SONG INTO EUROVISION (“SNAP” BY ROSA LINN), WHICH THEN GOES VIRAL ON TIKTOK
2023
–––––THE GREAT NOAH KAHAN PSYOP
–––––WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION DECLARES THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC OFFICIALLY OVER; “STOMP CLAP HEY” HAS SURVIVED
2024
–––––MYLES SMITH PUTS LUTON ON THE INTERNATIONAL MAP
–––––“A BAR SONG (TIPSY)” INSPIRES AN INCALCULABLE NUMBER OF RELAPSES
–––––DONALD TRUMP RE-ELECTED PRESIDENT
2025
–––––FOOTAGE FROM EDWARD SHARPE AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROS’ 2010 NPR TINY DESK CONCERT RESURFACES; EVERYONE ARGUES ABOUT IT
–––––NEW MUMFORD & SONS ALBUM
2026
–––––ZACH BRYAN BUYS THE ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT OF JACK KEROUAC’S ON THE ROAD
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