I was resting my eyes on a Saturday morning when my son burst into the living room and uttered the dreaded words, “What are we going to do today?”
When I told him the plan (again), he wasn’t pleased. We had some chores to do, and then we were going to meet up with his friend. Not a bad Saturday, in my opinion, but he didn’t know how to fill his time, and he demanded that I provide him with entertainment — immediately.
I sent him away with a graphic novel and a piece of French toast and started scrolling Threads to distract myself. An exchange among other users caught my eye. They were all sharing how their kids expected parents to fill their time with activities. It seems none of our children could handle being bored. I felt seen.
Some kids have packed schedules
The discord on Threads prompted me to hold a staged reading for my kids. Of course, they hated it. The original poster said she didn’t depend on her parents for entertainment all weekend when she was younger. The commenters chimed in with their own experiences and the reasons why “kids these days” need a cruise director. Some people misinterpreted the original poster’s intent — it’s not that we don’t want to spend time with our kids, it’s that I cannot pack their time to the brim with top-tier activities all weekend.
Many of my friends have their kids in multiple sports, dance, drama, gymnastics, etc. They arrange several playdates and host sleepovers, where the kids seemingly stay up all night.
I’m not gonna do it.
This just won’t work for us
In my particular family, we can’t live the perfect, busy life of my friends. Everyone in my house is neurodivergent, and sometimes we have to play a game of “who needs an accommodation most right now?” Is it my sensory-seeking son who wants to play indoor soccer on a rainy day, or is it me, the mom with chronic migraines, who has a headache after getting hit in the face with his ball?
We can’t handle a ton of disparate activities, all of which have different levels of demand, sensory input, and activity level.
I’m also a single parent. I can’t be everywhere at once. My friends who have two kids in five sports split the schlepping with their spouse. I don’t have the income to take my kids to the zoo every weekend or enroll them in more than one activity at a time.
Entry to our zoo would cost my family of three $68 — that’s before any costs inside such as food or a train ride. Sports and arts programs are also pricey. Plus, no one else around here is going to do the chores — we have to deal with a sink full of dishes or a yard overrun with weeds, even if going to the zoo would be more fun.
I’m OK letting my kids find their own ways to unplug
Even if I didn’t have practical challenges, on a philosophical level, I still don’t believe I should pack my kids’ weekends full of activities and outings. I’d like to find a middle ground between what some people described in the Thread about their own childhoods — when their parents didn’t do anything with them on the weekend unless it was a special occasion, and the childhood my kids seem to expect, one in which parents never do anything except kid-centric activities.
I do have fun with my children, throughout the week and on weekends and school breaks. We go to the movies. We take day trips to the coast. I take the soccer-lover down to the school and kick the ball around. They go on playdates.
But I know it’s also OK to ask them to do their own laundry and then spend some time unplugged in their rooms, gazing out the window, doodling, reading, or doing whatever they desire that they can handle on their own. It’s okay to be bored. It’s okay to be alone for a Sunday afternoon. I’m right downstairs, ready with the chore list and a book suggestion.
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