Alexis Adegoke is always romanticizing New York City.
She and her husband, Tolu, who had spent part of his childhood in the city, moved to New York together in 2014 after graduating from college.
As they built their adult lives, the couple embraced New York’s hustle. They loved that they could walk everywhere, that their community was never more than a few steps away, and that the city’s history was always around them.
“The scenery of New York is just beautiful to me,” Adegoke told Business Insider.
The two got married in the city and welcomed two kids there. Adegoke, 35, now a mom of three, said she enjoyed living in New York even more after becoming a new mom.
“Being a mom in early motherhood, I love New York for so many reasons that I feel like help you in postpartum, specifically walkability,” the content creator, who goes by Alexis Kristiana online, said. “It’s just so great to get out and move, connect with other parents, see other people outside.”
As their family grew, though, a sense that they owed it to their children to give them a white-picket-fence life crept in. So, they decided to leave the city for suburban Texas in 2022 — a decision they regretted almost immediately.
Giving suburban life a try
Adegoke spent most of her childhood in Dallas, where her family still lives. As she was raising her children in New York, she started to feel guilty that they didn’t have a bigger house or the green space she had growing up.
At the time, the Adegokes were also considering having more children, but their Brooklyn two-bedroom apartment was already bursting at the seams. They shared a bedroom with their kids, so the second bedroom could be an office and play space. Adding a third child to the room sounded daunting. Friends of theirs in New York also didn’t think they had the space or resources to have more kids in the city.
“You just start to believe all of that, and that’s why we started to look in Texas,” Adegoke said.
The family moved to Dallas in June 2022 and bought a four-bedroom, two-bathroom house that was a little over 2,000 square feet — an upgrade that “felt really big” to them compared to their two-bedroom apartment, Adegoke said.
Life in Texas worked for the family at first. Adegoke said they “were in a honeymoon phase” after they moved.
“The main thing we really loved was having the village and the support,” she added. “As parents, we needed that separation, date nights, and to be able to do things for ourselves. My mom helped us out a lot with the kids, so that was really helpful.”
Within months, however, they missed New York.
Longing for city life
Although there was a lot about living in Texas that was fun, such as being near family and having more space, Adegoke said they knew within a year it wasn’t right for them.
Adegoke got pregnant with her third child shortly after the move. She said she had a harder time being pregnant in the suburbs, feeling isolated because she couldn’t just walk down the street or take a train to see friends.
The Adegokes were also frustrated by having to drive everywhere. Their kids also missed seeing people walking around.
“When we first moved there, our oldest would actually cry and ask us, ‘Why can’t we walk? I want to walk,'” she said. “And then he would always ask, ‘Where are people?'”
Adegoke said her husband, who works in the music industry, was missing out on work opportunities because he wasn’t in the city. She also realized that, to raise happy children, it was important for her to be happy — and she wasn’t.
“I feel like a lot of people focus on what seems good on paper for the child or for the family,” she said. “But the mom is the nuclear center of all this, and if she’s not happy, that has a ripple effect into your children’s happiness.”
Ultimately, the Adegokes decided to move back to New York in 2025.
Life (back) in the big city
The Adegokes found an apartment in Brooklyn in September 2025. They couldn’t actually move until December, though, as they had to sell their house and downsize their belongings.
“We couldn’t take anything from our house and bring it to our new place,” Adegoke said. “The furniture wouldn’t fit.”
They did end up keeping one of their cars, as it was paid off, but they knew they wouldn’t be using it as often.
Adegoke also tried to prepare her kids — now 6, 4, and 3 — for the change as much as she could.
“We homeschool, so we made it a part of our homeschool lessons,” she said. “I really wanted them to understand what was happening.”
Adegoke said she got books about moving to a city for the kids, and they did activities to prepare for the relocation. They also had a countdown to the move so they could look forward to it, and did a farewell tour of Dallas before they left.
“We went to all of their favorite places over a weekend to say goodbye to them for the last time,” Adegoke said. “We had a little goodbye party at home with their friends.”
The mother of three also tried to involve her kids in the moving prep, having them downsize their toys and furniture.
The thoughtful preparation paid off. By December, the family felt ready for their flight to New York.
Downsizing for the city
The Adegokes ended up renting a three-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in Brooklyn. It’s a little over 1,000 square feet, making it much smaller than their Dallas home — yet more expensive. In fact, their monthly rent payments are three times as much as their mortgage payments were in Texas.
They had hoped to have two bathrooms. Still, the one they have is large enough for all five Adegokes to stand in at once.
One bedroom is for the couple; another serves as an office and playroom; and the kids share a bedroom. Two of Adegoke’s kids sleep in a bunk bed, and the third sleeps in a separate lofted bed that has a playspace beneath it. They built a custom closet system in the room, making the most of the 200-square-foot space.
Adegoke said she’s been pleasantly surprised by how well her children share their bedroom.
“I was nervous about how it was going to go at first, but it’s actually been easier for us to get them to sleep,” Adegoke said.
In Texas, her two older children wanted a parent to lie with them on the floor until they fell asleep, and her youngest liked to be held until he drifted off to sleep. Now that they’re all together when they go to bed, they all fall asleep “perfectly,” according to their mother.
Even though their apartment is much smaller than their Texas home, it works for them.
“In my opinion, in New York, your lifestyle is more simplified because the space is smaller,” she said. “It causes you to focus on what is really important here.”
The family is thriving
It hasn’t been an overnight transition for the Adegokes; they still miss Texas sometimes.
One morning, Adegoke’s eldest son’s pancake looked suspiciously like the Lone Star State, and he confessed to his mother between bites that he missed his grandmother and his friends.
“I let him know it’s OK to be sad and to miss it,” Adegoke said. “Those are normal things.”
After they spoke, her son looked out of the apartment’s window, spotted the Empire State Building, and said he felt better.
Though those moments of homesickness still come, Adegoke said her family has more “spotting the Empire State Building” moments than not.
“People feel like living in New York with kids is stressful,” she said. “But from a kid’s point of view, they’re having so much fun. They’re scooting around. They’re looking at cool stuff.”
Adegoke said they’ve been exploring destinations they spotted in a National Geographic book for kids about New York, and her children have been loving checking places off their list.
All five of them are making New York their own, even her husband, who’s taking advantage of being back in a hub for the music industry.
A happier parent
For Adegoke, one of the biggest benefits of being back in the city is that it’s helped her connect with herself more.
She said living in New York has given her more time to recharge, whether that’s by walking to a massage or meeting up with friends.
“For me, it’s been a huge shift,” Adegoke said of being back in the city. “I’m just so much happier here.”
She also feels less isolated than she did in the suburbs because people are everywhere, and she’s feeling more kinship with other New York moms.
The best part of the move for Adegoke, though, is seeing her whole family experience the joys of New York, from exploring new places around the city to spending time with friends.
“Every day is like an adventure,” she said.
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