You’ve likely heard of the popular term “rage bait,” which is behavior or content specifically intended to trigger anger in a given audience. But what about the concept of “swipe bait”?
Swipe baiting runs rampant on dating apps, where many people put their best foot forward, sharing what they believe will secure the most matches. Think: photos with cute dogs that aren’t actually yours, staged pictures with a baby to make you seem softer than you really are, or content of you hiking even though you absolutely hate the outdoors.
Many dating app users are tired of the subtle lies from their matches, without realizing they’re likely doing the same in return. Swipe baiting is an incredibly common form of validation-seeking, but beneath it lurks a deeper, more nuanced truth.
What Is ‘Swipe Baiting’?
As noted above, swipe baiting involves using fake or misleading photos or prompts on dating apps in order to get more swipes.
According to Angelika Koch, Relationship expert at Taimi, who works directly with dating app users, “Swipe bait stems from a deep desire for acceptance and the fear of being alone.”
“It shows how we often reject ourselves before others do, leading us to mask ourselves to fit in,” she adds.
Why We Lie in Dating
Unfortunately, in such a competitive and oftentimes shallow dating world, many of us feel the need to stand out in some way—or, at the very least, keep up with the rest. This is why we often see heavily edited photos or exaggerated bios. Like most of social media, it’s all a facade.
“The majority of curated dating profiles aren’t a conscious strategy, but a defense mechanism,” says Koch. “We perform an idealized version of ourselves online not to deceive a potential partner, but because we’ve already decided the real version isn’t worth swiping on.”
The Cost of Subtle Lies on Dating Apps
While it’s completely natural to battle insecurities in dating, and it’s normal to present the best version of yourself to potential suitors, flat-out lying will only create a further disconnection. You won’t attract someone who truly desires and aligns with you—flaws and all.
“Swipe bait means people fall for a version of you rather than you,” says Koch. “If someone swiped because of travel photos and you hold them to that, you might miss that they hated every trip and want something quieter entirely. The illusion becomes the relationship.”
Of course, this can prevent both parties from flagging potential incompatibilities. For example, Koch mentions the “borrowed dog problem.”
“Posting a photo with a dog you don’t own is only harmless if you actually want a dog,” Koch says. “If you don’t, you’re not just crafting an appealing image, you’re luring someone in under a false belief about the life you’re building together.”
The less honest you are on dating apps, the less likely you are to match with people who actually suit you, your lifestyle, and your values.
The post ‘Swipe Bait’ Is Ruining Your Chances of Finding Your Person appeared first on VICE.
