Growing up, I loved having sleepovers with friends.
As my children grew, I was excited for them to start having sleepovers of their own. I love helping them plan activities that fill the entire night, from what type of pizza to order to arts-and-crafts projects to whether they should sleep in beds or in a fort on the living room floor. On these nights, I love hearing my children laugh with their friends long past their bedtime as I drift off to sleep.
However, I am also a little bit jealous of my children’s sleepovers. Why should the kids get to have all the fun while I do all the work?
A canceled sleepover sparked an idea
When a sleepover my daughter had planned with a friend fell through at the last minute, she was upset. At first, I tried to console her by telling her we could reschedule for the following week. She seemed unconvinced this plan would materialize. I then realized I could step in and have a sleepover with her instead, finally joining in the fun myself rather than watching from afar. Fortunately, she was receptive to the idea.
We both had a great time, and the canceled sleepover launched a new tradition. Now, I have a few sleepovers with my kids each year. These late nights have become some of my most treasured memories.
We cram in as much fun as possible
Between school, packed sports schedules, scouts, my kids’ busy social lives, and other events, it can be difficult to find time for family sleepovers. When we do make family sleepovers work, I try to make them as fun as possible. Often, my kids and I start talking about what we will do during a sleepover days before the sleepover. That helps build excitement and extends the fun we have together.
During family sleepovers, we always play a board game or two. Family favorites include Uno, Clue, Pandemic, and Settlers of Catan. We also usually watch a movie. I am partial to classics from the 1980s and 90s, but my kids usually convince me to watch a newer movie they find on Netflix or Disney+.
We might also light the backyard fire pit or play a few rounds of laser tag in the basement with a basic set my children got for the holidays a few years ago. Sometimes, we bake cake or cookies.
I suspend many rules for sleepover nights only
I usually insist on some basic but important rules for my family. We limit the amount of candy we eat and the amount of screen time they have each day. I insist upon at least one fruit or vegetable with dinner and getting to bed at a reasonable time.
However, on sleepover nights, things are different. I share in my children’s giddy excitement as we choose movie theater-sized boxes of candy to eat throughout the night and pop popcorn loaded with butter. We order pizza loaded with cheese and toppings. Sometimes, I also surprise them with a two-liter bottle of soda. If my children want to watch an episode or two of a TV show before putting on an hourslong movie, I indulge them. Bedtime becomes flexible.
I often want these nights to go on forever. Our sleepovers often end with my children asking if they can sleep or nodding off on the sofa, rather than my imploring them to head to their rooms.
Having sleepovers with kids has strengthened our relationship
I know that I am not a substitute for my children’s friends.
As much as I enjoy having sleepovers with my kids, I am not naive. I know they would prefer to have a sleepover with someone their own age.
Still, our sleepover tradition has become a cherished time for all of us. It is one of the few opportunities we have to simply have fun and enjoy each other’s company as a family, without the pressure of sticking to a rigid schedule or following and enforcing rules.
The freedom to have fun without the usual constraints of time and structure has strengthened our relationship. I am still my children’s parent, but these sleepovers allow me to get to know them in a different way and give me a small glimpse of what they are like with their friends when I am not around.
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