I wondered a lot about my future dating life between being separated and getting my divorce in 2019.
If you asked me about dating again pre-pandemic, I would have said that I had no idea how to meet someone new. A coworker had looked at me after I confessed I was getting a divorce and said I’d be dating someone new in just six months. Six months later, I still wasn’t dating anyone new.
By the time my divorce was finalized, I had thought a lot about “getting back on the horse” when it came to dating. The stay-at-home orders and COVID-19 quickly put an end to my curiosity.
I started hiking to get outside
In the early days of the pandemic, like so many others, I spent my time alone or with those in my pod, escaping to the great outdoors. I hadn’t been much for the outdoors before, but it seemed like the thing to do, and I found I was actually interested in hiking.
One thing I heard along the way was a warning; my mother told me I wasn’t allowed to go hiking alone. She was too afraid that I’d fall, get hurt, and end up dying alone. Honestly, even as I rolled my eyes and muttered “ugh, mom” under my breath, I knew she was right. It wasn’t smart for me to do that as an inexperienced hiker.
Instead, I ventured out with friends in my pod or other people I knew. I kept to myself. I was focusing on me, not on dating. One day, I saw a post on Instagram from a friend I’d known since college. I looked up his profile. He was hiking too, and his photos were incredible. I wanted to go where he was going.
I asked him to go on a hike together
One particularly slow workday in September, I worked up the nerve to send him a direct message. As I typed, I asked myself what the worst he could say to me: a no? Then I’d be in the same place I was now. If he said yes, I’d be going somewhere amazing.
The note I typed was blunt. I straight up said, “My mom told me I can’t go hiking alone. Could I tag along with you? I promise to do social distancing or masking if that makes you more comfortable.”
He wrote back, and we laughed about how parents are sometimes. He also agreed to meet up. We chose a time and place. I was pumped.
Then, the week before we were meant to go hiking, fires tore through our state and then our town. Plans shifted, then dissolved. The skies turned an unnatural shade of orange, and being outside made my eyes burn and my throat tight. We would not be hiking together. Instead, I packed a “go bag” and anxiously watched the news.
After the fires were put out, weeks passed, and I returned to focusing on myself and a big work project. I tried to reschedule our hike, but life has a habit of getting in the way of your best-laid plans.
One December day, I was in the thick of it at work, and he popped back into my mind. I recalled my inner conversation with myself back in September. What’s the worst he could say? It hadn’t happened once, and I was OK. I might as well shoot my shot. I sent another DM, and he responded that he was available.
We hiked after our wedding
We made plans for the day after Christmas. He warned me it might be wet and soggy, but I assured him I would be prepared. I made it my motto: weather is not a deterrent to fun.
We hiked up a portion of a local trail I never knew existed. We caught up on all the things we missed out on in the years since we’d seen each other last. We fantasized about where we’d want to travel to when things were “normal” again. We both said Hawaii. I stole sideways glances at him as I realized he was someone I really wanted to know better.
Falling in love snuck up on me while I was putting miles on my hiking boots, and even though I rolled my eyes at my mom’s warning, I have her to thank for setting me up on my first date with my now husband. The day after our wedding, we hiked that same trail again.
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