Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Food for Thought
The presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said during a 2012 deposition that doctors told him a parasite had eaten part of his brain.
“This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.
“I just want to say to any R.F.K. Jr. fans who might be watching, do not despair. Just because he has sworn in a deposition that he has parasitic brain damage doesn’t mean he’s going to drop out, because Bobby Kennedy Jr. does not know the meaning of the word ‘quit’ — ’cause that information was in the part of the brain that the worm ate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“His family’s like, ‘It is true, but it still doesn’t explain why he’s like that.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“And this is strange: Instead of using dewormer, he injected himself with a Covid vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Apparently, the worm was giving him all his ideas, like in ‘Ratatouille.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I don’t know what’s worse — that R.F.K. Jr. had a worm that was eating his brain or that his brain is so poisoned that it killed the worm.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Cause of death: starvation.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For a guy who seems to believe doctors are con artists trying to scam you into getting a vaccine, he sure did get to one fast when a worm started eating his brain.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The inside of his head is basically the movie ‘Dune,’ but you should definitely vote for him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The New York Times today published a report on independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s health issues, including a dead worm in his brain. Or as that’s known in Libertarian circles, a running mate.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Kristi Noem’s Press Tour Edition)
“Former President Trump said that South Dakota governor Kristi Noem has had a ‘rough couple of days.’ Said Noem, ‘Who said ‘ruff’?” — SETH MEYERS
“Yeah, she needs more bad press like she needs a hole in her dog.” — SETH MEYERS
“I will say, for the past few years, I have been wondering how far is too far for the right-wing MAGA crowd. And now, we know: shooting your dog in a gravel pit. That is not acceptable — until Trump does it. Then every Republican has to shoot their dog just to stay in the party.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“This is the smoothest P.R. tour I’ve seen since Prince Andrew claimed he lost the ability to sweat in the Falklands War.” — SETH MEYERS
“She’s digging a hole so deep she can bury a dog in it.” — SETH MEYERS
“Kristi Noem’s getting grilled harder than criminal defendant Donald Trump. Not only is she making Trump look good by comparison, but she’s making Kim Jong-un look good by comparison. For all we know, she was going to meet him, and then right beforehand, he said, ‘Wait, isn’t that the lady who killed her puppy? No, thank you. I’m a monster, but I’m not that.’” — SETH MEYERS
“So kudos, right-wing media, for putting your foot down against killing dogs. You can hold your head up high and go back to your regularly scheduled segment: ‘Why Don’t We Toss the Migrant Kids Into the Grand Canyon?’”— JORDAN KLEPPER
The Bits Worth Watching
On Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” David Beckham explained how a Spice Girls reunion came about at his wife Victoria’s birthday party.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Ryan Gosling, whose latest film is “The Fall Guy,” will talk to Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Amy Poehler’s new podcast, “Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder,” is a satirical sendup of the popularity of true crime.
The post Late Night Reacts to the Worm in R.F.K. Jr.’s Brain appeared first on New York Times.