Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
11th Time’s the Charm?
On Monday, the judge in Donald Trump’s criminal trial held him in contempt for the 10th time, threatening jail time if the former president continues to violate a gag order.
Jimmy Kimmel said that he thinks Trump will end up in jail “because he can’t stop talking about the case. It’s like trying to get a dog to stop licking itself.”
“This is Trump’s 10th violation, and we’re only on Day 12 of the trial. He’s already paid $9,000 in fines for the first nine, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is a lot for Eric, who now won’t be getting his allowance this week.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Again? I’ve got deja woo hoo!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Please, you think Trump is scared of jail? That place is full of mobsters and white supremacists. He’ll walk into jail the way Norm walks into Cheers.” — SETH MEYERS
“You’ve done it now, Donald. If you violate that gag order for the 11th time, the judge is going to really consider jail time. I mean, he’s strongly contemplating the possibility of consequences for your actions. Just one more chance!” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Sending the former president on a trip to Bar-A-Lago, according to Judge Merchan, is ‘the last thing I want to do,’ which is funny because it’s the first thing I would want to do. It’s like No. 1 on my list.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And how would that even work? I mean, would they give him a cavity search? God help whoever gets that gig. They might find Vivek Ramaswamy living up there like a Keister elf.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say based on how much he’s complaining about conditions in the courtroom, he would hate jail.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (All Dogs Go to Heaven Edition)
“And now there’s no way Trump is going pick Kristi Noem, but he wants to keep her around in case one of the other lap dogs stops obeying his commands. Kristi can drag them to the rock quarry and put them down.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Dear Lord, this woman has a taste for dog blood. It’s like she thought ‘All Dogs Go to Heaven’ was a personal challenge.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“I’m not a political expert, but I think if I had to give a politician advice, I would say the top thing is to not shoot your puppy. The second top thing would be to not write about shooting your puppy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“I really love that she thinks she still has a shot. I mean, she had a shot — she used it on her dog.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s really kind of a shame she didn’t meet Kim Jong-un, because if anyone would be on her side when it comes to dog killing, I mean, that’s the guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The actress Laura Linney discussed getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The comedian Cole Escola will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
With “All Fours,” Miranda July has written the first great perimenopausal novel.
The post Late Night Can’t Get Enough of Trump Being Held in Contempt (Again) appeared first on New York Times.