I’ve known my wife’s parents for nearly a decade, and we’ve always gotten along, but I never imagined sharing a roof with them. That all changed last year, when my wife suddenly popped the question: “How would you feel about buying a house with my mom and dad?”
We knew it would be years before we could afford the down payment on a house, particularly anywhere near Frederick, Maryland, where we wanted to live.
Even though we were both lawyers in our late 30s, we didn’t have as much saved as we should have. We had each chosen lower-paying work over big-firm jobs and lost financial ground during our divorces in the late 2010s.
Without the help of my in-laws, my wife and I would’ve had to wait another decade or so to buy a house. But if we purchased a place together, her parents would provide the down payment, and we would cover more than half of the mortgage.
So, just like that, I agreed to become roommates with my in-laws.
The house gave all of us the space we needed, but we still had to learn how to share it
When we began our search, we envisioned a duplex — two separate living spaces joined together — but we had a hard time finding one.
We struggled even more to find a house with bedrooms on both the first and second floors, something crucial for my in-laws, since they’re in their late 60s, and we didn’t want them worrying about climbing stairs now or as they get older.
After several months of looking, we finally found a place that checked all the boxes: a 1950s one-story house that the previous owner had renovated to add a second floor and a finished basement.
The upstairs, where my wife and I would live, had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a laundry space. Downstairs, where my in-laws would live, was the main kitchen and living room, a small den, a bedroom, a bathroom, and a small back kitchen.
There was enough space for all four of us — along with our two cats, our dog, and their dog — so we put in an offer.
For the first couple of months after moving in, the house was a sea of boxes, and it seemed almost impossible that we could cram all four lives into one place.
My wife and mother-in-law argued about the furniture we needed to get for the shared spaces, and we debated back and forth about what to do with the back kitchen, which we ultimately decided to convert into a laundry/mud room.
As time went on, we also had to get used to the quirks of living together. My wife works from home, which means she has to go downstairs to the main kitchen and interact with her parents before she can fully wake up. Luckily, we’ve just converted the upstairs laundry space into a little kitchenette, so now she can make her morning smoothie in peace.
Additionally, I learned to put on my dress shoes only when I’m on my way out of the house in the morning, as I had previously been startling my in-laws awake by clomping around in the closet just above their bedroom.
But even though we’re all in the same house, my wife and I still feel like we have ample privacy. Our bedroom is large, and my in-laws don’t really spend much time in the basement, so sometimes, we like to hang out there as well.
Thankfully, expenses haven’t been an issue, since we split most day-to-day purchases right down the middle by contributing to a joint bank account.
Living together has made everyday life easier in ways I didn’t expect
Despite the challenges, sharing a home with my in-laws for the past eight months has been great.
My mother-in-law graciously offered to make dinner most nights, so we can all sit down and have a home-cooked meal as a family. When we go out of town, my in-laws watch our dog and our cats.
Once we have children, grandma and grandpa will be right there to help, and as my in-laws get older, we’ll be right there to assist them.
Obviously, there are times when we annoy each other, but I’ve gotten to know my in-laws much better since we became roommates. The arrangement has turned us into a family and given us more financial security, and the plan is never to move again.
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