As a working mom of four, I have limited and precious time with friends. For years, I typically met friends for brunch or coffee, and the occasional Mom’s Night Out. By default, these get-togethers always felt rushed.
Even a long, lingering brunch rarely lasted much more than an hour. At most restaurants, the constant din of conversation and utensils clanging against porcelain dishes made it difficult for me to truly relax and have a heart-to-heart. Yet, there didn’t seem to be a viable alternative, so I stuck with the status quo.
Things changed when I realized I could access European-style sauna culture in the United States.
Travel showed me a different way to socialize
As a dual citizen, I travel to Europe frequently. I’ve known about European sauna culture my entire life. As a child, my grandfather would often disappear to the local bathhouse, which he called “the schvitz.”
He talked about the perceived health benefits of going to saunas regularly, but even as a young child, I could tell the real appeal was spending time with friends since he rarely went to the schvitz alone.
Nevertheless, I initially found saunas too hot and decided they weren’t for me. But because saunas and bathing culture are such a big part of European wellness and social culture, I kept encountering them everywhere and begrudgingly tried again, because I didn’t want to miss out on enjoying the experience with others, from Iceland to Romania.
I picked up some tips that helped me enjoy myself more, like sitting on a bottom bench near the door and covering my head to avoid overheating. Slowly, I realized that I actually was actually enjoying my time in saunas, and I always enjoyed the company.
I started seeking out saunas on my own
I knew my relationship with saunas had permanently changed during a visit to Oslo with my children. During that trip, I suggested visiting a sauna because I knew it would be a lot of fun and would likely be the highlight of our trip. I was right, and we all had a great time.
When I got back home, I started looking to see if there were any nearby I could go to with friends. Social time in saunas shouldn’t be reserved just for travel, I reasoned. I looked into gym memberships, but using saunas for recovery with a bunch of strangers wasn’t the vibe I was going for. Instead, I booked a massage with a friend at a hotel that had a sauna in its spa. The experience was nice, and I continued to invite friends to join me for an occasional massage and a sweat in the sauna.
I found what I was looking for near a suburban mall not far from my home
Eventually, I found a better solution. A deep dive one night led me to the Balian Springs, a wellness facility inspired by Bali’s wellness practices. Although the huge facility near a suburban mall had been open for a few years, I had never heard of it. I couldn’t get there fast enough. I found it very similar to a Therme, a wellness facility with several locations in Europe that I had already fallen in love with during my trips across the Atlantic. Both have multiple saunas with different themes, along with other wellness amenities such as thermal pools and hot tubs.
On my first trip, my friend Nicole and I jumped from sauna to sauna searching for our favorites — like bar-hopping, but sweatier and non-alcoholic. I loved the pink Himalayan salt sauna and also enjoyed the chromotherapy and charcoal saunas. We also spent time in the facility’s warm thermal pools, hot tubs, and rooftop infinity pool, although I decided to skip to the cold plunge and igloo room.
Nicole and I were shocked to realize five hours had flown by. “This is so much better than brunch,” she said. “Why haven’t we done this before?” Although we text daily and regularly grab coffee, I felt as though we hadn’t had the chance to truly catch up on a deep level the way we had in the sauna. During our visit, we saw other groups of women celebrating birthdays together by doing cold plunges in swimsuits instead of dressing up and eating cake across a table. Couples were lounging in tranquil pools rather than hitting bars.
Moreover, going to the sauna leaves me relaxed in a way brunch never does. I still go out for coffee and brunch with friends, but saunas are now my preferred social activity whenever possible, whether it’s a sauna in a hotel spa or a full-day wellness experience.
It’s not lost on me that I now have my own version of “the schvitz” I once associated with the old way of life my grandparents left behind in Europe. I only wish I had paid attention to my grandparents’ ways of spending time with friends sooner. It turns out they were onto something much better than brunch all along.
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