I teach at the same college where I earned my bachelor’s. It’s weird being on this side of the classroom.

• I attended the University of Mary Washington as a student and am now a teacher there.
• When I was a student, I felt lost and unsure of what my future held.
• Now, I can better connect with my students — even if it feels weird to be back here.

I’m a teacher at the same college where I earned my bachelor’s degree. But that’s not all: I’m teaching in the same department where I majored, and in the same classroom where I took the same introductory-level class.

Sometimes I don’t think I’m that much older than I was when I graduated from the University of Mary Washington. How is it that I am leading the Introduction to Digital Studies class instead of sitting in it as a student? How is it that I’m driving back to a single-family home that I rent with my fiancé, rather than a janky campus apartment?

But when my students tell me about their weekends, and I read the emails they write to me, I’m faced with the fact that I am closer to my 10-year reunion than the year that I graduated.

When I stand in front of my classroom, I can picture my 20-year-old self sitting on the other side of the table. I’m now often faced with the collision of these two versions of myself.

My younger self was lost, but building a foundation

In my first year of college, I frequently slept through my 8 a.m. classes, disliked speaking in class, and was most interested in my sociology courses.

The second year was better. I thought I had found my path in Business Administration and Marketing, and I joined the rowing team, which I had sworn I wouldn’t do, having retired from the sport after graduating from high school.

It was my third year when I realized that Business Administration was not for me, and I finally started taking the classes I was drawn to: the ones in the Communication and Digital Studies program.

Throughout all of this, I posted to Instagram and YouTube hoping to become an influencer, scraped a few knees leaving parties, ordered late night pizzas, devoured the tomato and red pepper Gouda soup with grilled cheese meal (a campus classic), stayed up way later than I should have to work on papers, took individual fitness classes to get credit for going to the gym, ranted to roommates about group projects, and made lifelong friends.

I didn’t have a five-year plan, and it all worked out

I thought it was in college where you figured out what you wanted to do with your life, which some students do. But that did not happen for me. It took me years to find my place in front of the classroom.

I’ve arrived at where I am today, not because of a five-year plan, but because I took advantage of the opportunities that were presented to me — mostly after college.

Sometimes I’d walk through a door that someone had opened for me (how I got my first and second full-time jobs). Other times, I opened a door, looked inside, and decided whether I wanted to walk through it or not.

Now, as a teacher, I still don’t have everything figured out, but I’m sharing what I’ve learned with my students. I no longer hate public speaking, and I’ve finally found my place.

Looking back is just as important as looking forward

As I now stand in front of the classroom instead of facing it, I can’t help but remember how far I’ve come.

Teaching in the same classroom, department, and school where I attended undergrad is a weird feeling. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’m in this position rather than in my students’ place.

But I’m compassionate toward my younger self as she tried to find her way, which makes it easier to support my students through their own journey.

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