I graduated from college and moved to a new city alone. Despite my best efforts, I’m ready to go home.

• Shortly after graduating from college, I moved to Pittsburgh on my own for a job opportunity.
• Living alone was harder than I thought it’d be, so I made an effort to meet new people and explore.
• Even though I made friends, I became homesick and decided to move back home and save money.

I’ve been told that in order to grow, some level of change is necessary.

That was the mindset I had when I decided to take a job opportunity in Pittsburgh and live alone for the first time, shortly after graduating from Syracuse University.

Although I’m used to pushing myself outside my comfort zone — I moved halfway across the country for college and studied abroad alone — this move felt different.

My friends were supportive, saying that if anyone could move and start over, it’d be me, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the feelings of loneliness and homesickness I’d soon develop.

I was excited for quiet nights and a space to call my own

When I was in college, I was lucky enough to live with my best friends. Although I thoroughly enjoyed that experience, there were still moments when I’d lock myself in my room for some quiet time.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like living with people, but after a long day, sometimes the best thing for me was to lie in bed and scroll on my phone.

So, when the time came, I was excited — and nervous — to move into my studio apartment. I pictured an open kitchen where I wouldn’t have to wait my turn to use the oven, choosing what I wanted to watch on TV, and decorating the space as my own.

But after about a month of living alone, my enthusiasm for 24/7 quiet time began to wear off. I’m no stranger to taking myself out for a solo dinner, but I was used to having someone to come home to.

Living with a roommate gave me the feeling that there was always a built-in plan for my day, even if it was something as mundane as catching up or watching a movie together, and I missed that comfort more than I thought I would.

I made an effort to build connections, but still struggled to feel at home

I soon found myself stretched beyond my comfort zone, going out of my way to make plans in search of new friendships.

People I’d meet at workout classes and parties would introduce me to their friends, too, and I’d create new connections almost everywhere I went. Suddenly, I was saying yes to attending country music concerts despite exclusively listening to Taylor Swift.

I also explored different neighborhoods and restaurants to become more familiar with my surroundings. Over time, I created a community and found that many of my new friends were in similar situations, which helped us bond.

But as much as I tried to make living in Pittsburgh work, the feeling of homesickness lingered. I’d avoided it throughout college thanks to scheduled breaks where I could fly home, but now that I was working full time, I wasn’t afforded that luxury.

Living away from my family felt lonelier than it ever had before, and despite the amazing friendships I’d made, I still struggled to fully connect with the city.

I often wonder if I would’ve felt different if I’d had a roommate, but with a 12-month lease, that option never materialized for me.

I’ve decided to move back home with my parents

It’s been a year since I embarked on my adventure living alone, and in that time, I’ve learned so much about myself as I’ve navigated the highs and lows of postgrad adulting.

But as my lease comes to an end and I look for my next job opportunity, I’ve decided to move back to my hometown of St. Louis to live with my parents.

I figure it will be a good way to save money and serve as a much-welcome change of pace. Plus, I’m excited to be close to my family again.

Though this first year alone didn’t quite go as planned, I feel incredibly sad to leave behind the friends I made in my new city.

But on the bright side, I’m looking forward to having roommates again — or in this case, my parents.

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