A few months ago, my family was in the crowded Brussels Airport. Though I’d put an AirTag in my then 7-year-old daughter’s knapsack, made a bracelet with our contact information and even taught her my phone number to the tune of “Happy Birthday to You,” I had a sudden fear of what might happen if we were separated. What would she do? What would we do?
I tried to do the right things, but there are other measures a family can take before and during a trip to help keep children safe. Here are a few.
Get the family in travel mode before you go.
Start the safety conversation about a week before departing by reviewing the itinerary with your kids: destinations, length of stay and how you’ll be getting there. Pace your conversations so they hear each detail more than once and in multiple ways.
Children under 6 respond well to visuals, rhymes or music, and repetition is especially important at this age, said Eli Harwood, a licensed therapist and the author of the book, “Raising Securely Attached Kids.”
Go over details like how to find police officers — including what uniforms they wear at your destination — or seek a safe adult to ask for help. “One of the things that I think is really helpful for kids is to look for moms with kids,” said Cynthia Matthews von Berg, creator of Sharing the Wander, a family travel blog, who traveled with her husband and two children around the globe for three years.
For children 6 to 9 years old, shift to stating facts plainly and responding to their need to understand the reasons for them. “As they age and find this stuff cheesy, involve them in the problem-solving process,” Ms. Harwood said.
For teens, who typically have short attention spans, she suggested presenting travel guidelines in a brief discussion or with a fact sheet that they can read independently.
Parents should also learn about the area the family is staying in — is it OK to walk around with children? Ensure everyone’s cellphones have international data plans, if you’re traveling abroad. Label your kids’ clothes, coats and backpacks. Consider family ID bracelets that list parents’ names and phone numbers, as well as any allergies or medical conditions.
Reinforce and expand the family safety rules.
It’s important to go over your usual rules and add new ones. Remind young children of the standard ones: Don’t wander away or engage with strangers. New rules might include not walking in a certain place after dark, staying in an agreed-upon area or speaking up when a situation makes them uncomfortable. Tell youngsters it’s OK to use their “outdoor voice” in a loud, crowded public space and to yell if they can’t find you.
All kids should have at least one parent’s phone number memorized. Everyone’s phones stay on at all times, with geolocation activated. Kids should keep their bags zipped and in front of them, and their phones and earbuds put away to avoid distraction. Consider attaching tracking devices to backpacks, clothing or even shoes. (Be prepared for pushback. After our last trip, my daughter announced, “I am not wearing AirTags anymore! I am not a baby!”)
If teens are going out on their own while traveling, the safety rules from home should apply. Before getting in a ride-hailing-service vehicle, they — like everyone else — should check the app to make sure the license plate is correct and ask the driver, “What’s my name?” said Paul DelPonte, the executive director of the National Crime Prevention Council.
Make shared plans and use technology.
Adults must make sure it’s clear who’s watching which child. It’s common for each parent to assume the other is doing so.
Have your kids memorize the name of the hotel or address of the Airbnb, and take a picture of the hotel’s business card (and the room number) and share it with all the family phones. Give everyone a hotel business card to carry.
Before heading out each day, take a family photo on your phone, so you have a record of what your children are wearing in case they get lost. Have everyone wear bright colors so you can spot them. If you’re traveling with more than one child, create a buddy system.
For older kids and teens, Ned Clark, senior vice president of Travel For Teens, a program that offers travel experiences, suggested “supervised freedom” — taking them where they want to go and staying in the area, giving them space without hovering.
Plan what to do if you and your children are separated. For busy locations, choose a meeting point that’s identifiable, accessible and memorable — like the famous clock at Grand Central Terminal in New York. Point it out more than once so it sinks in. Pick a spot far from a door, since those areas tend to be crowded, and you don’t want your children wandering out into the street.
If you’re in public and can’t find your child, Ms. Matthews von Berg offered simple advice: Be loud. “We all have a tendency to kind of panic quietly and look around and try to figure it out,” she said. “But the best thing to do is really be loud and say, ‘I can’t find my 6-year-old! She’s wearing a green T-shirt!’”
Pay special attention to transportation.
Public transit poses particular difficulties, so plan for this specifically.
To avoid being separated, go over how many stops you’re going and where you’re getting off, remind kids to stay with you. If two adults are traveling, have one stationed in front of the children and one behind them. If there is only one adult, Ms. Matthews von Berg suggested having the kids board in front of you, which reduces the chance of anyone being left behind.
Experts agreed that if a child is left at a stop when the family boards — or mistakenly gets off while the rest of the family stays on board — the child should wait there until the parent comes to get them, so you should tell them this beforehand. If a child remains on board when the rest of the family disembarks, Ms. Matthews von Berg advised telling them, “Get off at the first stop and don’t move.” If too much time passes — such as two or three buses or trains going by — and they are still alone, they should ask an appropriate person for help.
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