Somewhere between paying bills and checking emails, friendship slipped down the priority list. A new Talker Research survey of 2,000 adults found the average American now has just 3.6 close friends, a number that keeps shrinking every year.
Over the past decade, people say they’ve lost around nine friendships. Distance ended half of them. Life transitions came next at 48 percent, followed by one side simply giving up at 40 percent. A quarter said there just isn’t enough time anymore, which feels like the most adult answer possible.
Men are losing friends faster than women, and Gen Z is dropping them the quickest, losing about ten close connections per decade. Psychologists say the problem isn’t that people don’t care. It’s that daily life offers fewer chances to connect.
“Making new friendships in adulthood can be really challenging due to not having as many built-in opportunities in everyday life,” said licensed clinical psychologist Kylie Sligar, co-owner of All in Bloom Therapy. “Additionally, so much of life is virtual these days.”
Friendship has become something you have to schedule, like a doctor’s appointment. Remote work, long commutes, and algorithmic distractions eat the hours that used to belong to other people. Sligar says rebuilding connection takes discomfort and initiative.
“Taking initiative, being consistent, and stepping into vulnerability are all important aspects to making new and lasting connections,” she said.
The study also found that 22 percent of people lost friends when their values stopped aligning, and 35 percent admitted they simply stopped reaching out. The result is a country full of adults who crave deeper relationships but can’t find the energy to maintain them.
Losing nine friends in ten years doesn’t sound catastrophic until you realize your entire circle fits on one hand. Friendships used to form naturally through proximity and shared time. Now they’re something we have to protect from the pace of modern life.
Sligar offered a small dose of comfort: “There are so many other adults out there feeling lonely and looking for friendships. You’re not the only one.”
That’s the good news. The bad news is, someone still has to send the first text.
The post This Is the Average Number of Close Friends—and It’s Kind of Depressing appeared first on VICE.
