She moved to a new city for her husband’s job. It was lonely until she realized her kids could help her make friends.

Military couple Erin Grindstaff and her husband, Travis, are no strangers to moving house.

Erin, 34, who’s in the Air Force Reserve, and Travis, 33, an active-duty officer, have lived in three states in four years. However, their latest move from Las Vegas to the Houston suburb of Pearland, Texas, in July 2024 was more difficult than usual.

Travis, previously an Air Force flight surgeon, had matched into a military-sponsored orthopedic residency in Houston. With a 1-year-old and a newborn in a brand-new city, Erin paused her career as a labor and delivery nurse to support her husband’s residency and get the family settled.

Unpacking was the easy part. Making the unfamiliar feel like home was the real challenge.

“When I first got here, I had that feeling when you’re really homesick, like when your chest gets tight,” Erin told Business Insider.

In Vegas, her family was relatively close, about a four-and-a-half-hour drive away in California. Not only was Texas farther away from the familiar comforts of loved ones, but this time, Erin had a family of her own to juggle.

“This was the first time we’d ever moved with kids; it was a very different experience,” she said. “I didn’t know anybody here. How do you build community without anywhere to start?”

A couple of months into my yearlong project following Erin’s move, she told me she’d found the secret: her kids.

Playgrounds opened the door to new friendships

Without the regular socializing and routine of a workplace to fall back on, Erin had to be intentional about meeting new people. So she decided to see the Houston area through the lens of her kids. The local library and playgrounds became routine stops, and she joined several Houston-area Facebook groups, where she met local and transplant moms from places like San Antonio, Dallas, and parts of California who were in the same boat.

“Whenever I met a mom, I’d ask, ‘Do you want to exchange numbers, schedule, or play?'” Erin said. “It felt like dating, but it’s what you have to do.”

Through church, playdates, and community events, she’s built a solid network of friends who jokingly call each other “co-workers.” They cover for one another during doctor’s appointments, take turns babysitting, and are each other’s emergency contacts. It’s been a weight off her shoulders.

Business Insider spent one year following three Americans who moved states to uncover the highs and lows of relocating. Read more in our series, Reinventing Home:

• She moved across the country when her husband got into Harvard. Starting over was hard.

• She switched coasts to become a homeowner — and got paid to do it.

“If I didn’t have people to talk to, it would be very isolating,” Erin said. “With toddlers and a spouse who works a lot, you’re taking care of everything. You need to have people that you can connect with and call during an emergency. It just makes everything so much better.”

Those connections, she said, made Texas start to feel like home.

“What gets you somewhere, and what keeps you there? A lot of times, it’s the people. I think that’s the human experience.”

Pearland was the perfect place for a young family

Like many Americans moving south, the Grindstaffs chased two things: affordability and opportunity. Pearland delivered both: a budget-friendly home and proximity to Houston’s Texas Medical Center (TMC), the largest medical center in the world.

“We looked at cities close to Houston like Katy, Cypress, a little bit of Sugar Land, and Pearland,” Erin said. “Pearland was the closest suburban area to the hospital. You still get a good house, community, and safety.”

Pearland is a fast-growing suburb about 20 miles south of central Houston, popular with healthcare workers who want suburban prices with city access. Despite an estimated population of about 160,400, according to the city’s website, it has a small-town feel and often ranks among the best places to live in America.

“When we were moving here, I did a ton of research, and everybody said Pearland was the place to go if you have kids. It was the best advice,” Erin said. “It’s really safe. There are kids everywhere, a lot of diversity, and it’s very welcoming.”

The family owns a 2,300-square-foot, four-bedroom, two-bath home with a large backyard in a newer neighborhood. They closed on the home in May 2024 for $390,000. It’s a steal compared with the 1,600-square-foot home they bought in Las Vegas in 2019 for $425,000.

“Given the size of our house, we couldn’t get this in many other places,” she said.

The couple plans to stay in Pearland for five more years while Travis completes his residency. Then they’ll rejoin the Air Force, and if they have to move, they’ll rent out the home.

“Buying a house is always a risk,” Erin said. “But with Pearland’s growth, its proximity to Houston, and the strong community, I think someone would want to buy the house in the future.”

Big bills and an even bigger workload

Pearland has been a good fit, but it’s not perfect. The Grindstaffs’ property-tax bill jumped from about $2,000 a year in Las Vegas to nearly $11,000 in Texas.

“The houses are more affordable, and the groceries are a lot cheaper, but you pay these absurd property taxes,” she said.

Houston’s rapid population growth has also caused some trouble for the family. From 2010 to 2023, the metro welcomed more than 1.5 million new residents, making it the second-fastest growing city in the US after Dallas—Fort Worth, according to Census data.

Not only has the influx of new residents increased traffic and housing pressures in the area, but it’s also added to Travis’ workload at one of the nation’s busiest Level I trauma centers.

“He’s getting a ton of experience, learning a lot, but definitely it’s keeping him busy,” Erin said.

Because her husband’s schedule is packed, Erin handles most of the kids’ routines. With a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old not yet in day care or school, a return to work likely isn’t in the cards yet for her. It’s a reality she wrestles with.

“Feeling like you’re sacrificing yourself is a struggle every mom goes through,” she said. “Right now, I’m focusing on raising my kids. It’s a choice I make every day, and really where I’m meant to be.”

‘I love our house, our community, and the people — but I still don’t love the weather’

Beyond high property taxes and traffic congestion, there’s another trade-off to living in Houston: the weather. The area is humid and blisteringly hot in the summertime, and also prone to hurricanes and floods.

Even before Erin arrived, she was worried. “When I first heard Houston, I first thought of hurricanes. I was probably most nervous about that than anything,” she said.

A month after they moved, the Houston area was hit by Hurricane Beryl, a Category 1 storm that brought 90-mph winds, more than 13 inches of rain, and caused several fatalities.

“I had done enough research and talked to enough people that I had everything I needed,” Erin said. “But still, when the power went out — in the middle of summer in Houston — it’s probably the most vulnerable I’ve ever felt.”

Fortunately, she’d just started making friends in Pearland. As she waited for her home’s electricity to be restored, one friend let her stay at their parents’ house, and another friend, whom she met at the local library, invited her to stay with her family.

After experiencing their kindness, Erin’s opinion of Houston shifted dramatically, and her desire to make more friends grew.

“When I first got here, I didn’t know if I wanted to stay. But after that, I now see why people want to raise a family here,” she said. “There’s just something about this area that’s really special.”

“I was telling my husband the other day I’m going to be sad if we leave,” she added. “I love our house, our community, and the people — but I still don’t love the weather.”

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