Donald Trump wants to crush The Swamp. The leaks, the sneaks, and the secrets are all there. Our writers,David Gardner, Farrah Tomazin, andSarah Ewall-Wice, are sifting through the ooze so you don’t have to. Don’t miss out.
In this week’s news from the ooze: Usha Vance, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Mark Warner, Joni Stevens, Steve Schmidt, Paolo Zampolli, Ivanka Trump, Dan Crenshaw, Tammy Haddad, Barron Trump, Abigail Jackson, Ami Bera, Dina Powell McCormick, and Stormy Daniels.
The Secret Time Capsule on an East Wing and a Prayer
A secret history of the East Wing is feared lost in the rubble after Donald Trump sent in the bulldozers to demolish the White House building.
When Joni Stevens, 79, saw last week’s shocking images revealing the devastation at the offices where she worked for 25 years, her first thoughts were for a time capsule she and her fellow East Wing staffers hid behind the bookcases in the East Wing 33 years ago. Nothing valuable. Just some mementos of a time gone by.
Inside a 2 ft. long, 1 ft. wide, locked metal canister, they had placed a list naming every president’s military aide. They started with Col. David Humphries, the aide to George Washington, appointed April 30, 1789 (a former aide was Alexander Hamilton, but by 1789 he was first Secretary of the Treasury), to George H.W. Bush, the White House incumbent at that time in the fall of 1992. There was also that day’s copy of The Early Bird, a paper issued every day by the Pentagon, together with that morning’s Washington Post, President Bush’s schedule for the day, and the business cards of the 13 staffers then working in the East Wing.
“As far as I know, no one else knew it was there,” Joni told The Swamp from her home in Williamsburg. “There were so many wonderful people who worked there and so much history that wasn’t just to do with the First Ladies.”
At the time, Bush’s military assistant and director of the White House Military Office was retired Lt. General Richard G. Trefrey, a former Inspector General of the Army. He had some bookcases built on the second floor to display military books. Joni and her colleagues decided to hide the capsule behind a wood panel by a window looking out onto the South Lawn as the shelves were being built. Joni had worked first for Pat Nixon and then Betty Ford and served in the military office at the East Wing under Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. And even after she left the White House, she always believed a little piece of her past remained, its location known only by a special few. No one could remember who had the key but they figured somebody would figure it out.
One day, Joni hoped, their time capsule would offer a fascinating glimpse into the East Wing’s storied past. She hasn’t completely given up hope. Maybe an eagle-eyed construction worker will spot the capsule and hand it in. More likely it will disappear in the rubble along with generations of history into a mound on a golf course.
And Joni, like all those others with a special place in their hearts for the East Wing, will just be left with their memories.
Stephen Miller’s Ballroom Blitz
What do Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, and Palantir have in common? First, they’re helping to bankroll Donald Trump’s $300 million “Epstein Ballroom” (at least that’s what many are calling it on social media.) Second, they’ve benefited from generous government contracts or from deregulation. And third, Stephen Miller, the mastermind behind Trump’s most draconian policies, has a financial stake in all of them.
According to his most recent financial disclosure, the White House deputy chief of staff and immigration adviser holds stock valued between $15,001 to a quarter of a million dollars in those key ballroom donors.
Miller’s biggest stake is an investment worth between $100,001 to $250,000 in Palantir, the Peter Thiel-founded tech company whose data surveillance work helps Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). Palantir scored a $30 million contract to build a new platform to help the administration identify and deport undocumented immigrants.
Miller’s stocks have been divested in brokerage accounts for his young children, but according to the Office of Government Ethics, “an asset that is owned by a spouse or minor child is analyzed under 18 U.S.C. § 208 [the criminal conflict of interest law] as if the employee owns it.”
Critics question the ethics: after all, Miller effectively helped create demand for Palantir’s products and now personally benefits if those contracts—and deportations—continue. To Miller, it’s a win-win.
But White House spokeswoman Abigail Jackson told The Swamp: “Stephen divested from stock holdings early in the Administration per The Office of Government Ethics and White House Counsel guidance. There are no conflicts.” A White House official also noted that DHS and ICE, not the White House, are responsible for any immigration related contract decisions.
Mind you, Palantir’s stock isn’t the only connection the company has to the White House. The company recently won a U.S. Army Enterprise Service Agreement worth up to $10 billion over 10 years to boost the Pentagon’s software and data procurement. Last month, it scored another $4.5 million contract to help the Internal Revenue Service “streamline” tax collection. And Thiel, JD Vance’s biggest donor, and his chief executive Alex Karp are regularly spotted around 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, prompting concerns about Palantir’s growing influence within the Oval Office itself.
All of this makes you wonder what the company donors have been promised in return. White House plaques (in gold, of course)? Ballroom Delivery by Amazon? Actual Windows by Microsoft? As for Miller, he has spent years warning that the “global elitists” are rigging the system. But when it comes to his own portfolio, the 40-year-old seems fine letting the ruling class prop up his retirement—as long as they keep the stock price growing.
Fox on the Run
Dealing with modern technology is always going to be an issue in an ageing Congress, but lawmakers might want to dial down their devices. Case in point, Lindsey Graham was seen whispering something into his mobile phone in the Senate moments before Siri responded at full volume: “Calling Sean Hannity mobile.” It could have been worse. He could have been calling Rachel Maddow.
Stormy Daniels Brings the House Down in Trump’s Backyard
Ten months after the man she helped convict became America’s 47th president, Stormy Daniels took the stage at The Loft Comedy Club in D.C. on Monday night and delivered exactly what the political class secretly craves: brutal, laugh-out-loud vengeance with a glittery mic. The adult film star-turned-budding comedian opened her set by revisiting her most notorious partner—Trump—offering the crowd a scathing assessment of his anatomy and sexual prowess before revisiting the “hush money” trial that led to Trump becoming the first convicted felon to occupy the White House. Daniels addressed the longstanding rumour that Trump may have expressed some flatulence issues while sitting at the defense table alongside his personal lawyer-turned-deputy attorney general Todd Blanche. “It did smell really weird,” she said. (Weird smells were also observed by writer E. Jean Carroll, who won an $83 million defamation lawsuit against Trump. She riffed about the president’s courtroom odors to the Daily Beast Podcast this week). But some of Daniels’ jokes had teeth. The 46-year-old revealed that after her testimony, she was doxxed, had her mail box blown up, and even came home to find someone had shot her young daughter’s pony. And ever since Trump returned to power, she says she’s been “shadow-banned” online, losing income, gigs, and influence. “I’ve been completely shut off and silenced since the election,” the once prolific Twitter user said. “Last year I was selling out 500-seat theaters; the day after, most of my social media stopped. No one should have that much power—on either side.” By a weird coincidence of timing, just as Daniels was telling jokes, Trump’s attorneys filed an appeal in New York to try to overturn his convictions. If he succeeds it would wipe out the only satisfaction Daniels got from her brief encounter: that Trump ended up with 34 felony convictions.
Trump’s Villains Are D.C. Comic Relief
A new guerrilla-style campaign is lighting up Washington, projecting images of Attorney General Pam Bondi splashed with the label “Epstein Queen” across buildings in the nation’s capital. The Swamp spotted Bondi on the side of an apartment on the corner of 22nd and P streets in Northwest DC on Monday night, but spies say she also featured prominently on what was once the Trump Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue.
The campaign is the brainchild of a new anti-Trump grassroots group co-founded by Mary Corcoran and former Lincoln Project strategist Steve Schmidt. Last week the “Villains” series featured White House aide Stephen Miller, whose face beamed across the district emblazoned with the words “Fascism Ain’t Pretty.”
Corcoran tells The Swamp, “We all need a laugh in these troubled times.” As for who’s next to be made a giant figure of ridicule… keep your eyes peeled.
Aren’t the Greeks Ode an Appearance from KG?
Kimberly Guilfoyle is taking “I”m working remote today” to a new extreme. Last week, the U.S. Ambassador to Greece was in London, attending The Hellenic Initiative’s 9th Annual Gala “strengthening the enduring bonds between the United States, Greece, Great Britain, and Hellenes worldwide,” and then it was back on the plane. But instead of traveling to Athens to lead up the embassy, she crossed the Atlantic and raced to The Colony in Palm Beach to celebrate her ambassadorship (again). Is Kimberly ever going to make it to Athens or is she planning to do the entire four years via Zoom? The Swamp thought her almost-father-in-law only gave her the job because Don Jr. wanted to be left in peace with Bettina Anderson. Perhaps the president could try somewhere even further away. Has he found an ambassador yet for Kiribati?
Ivanka Scores!
It wasn’t enough for world soccer’s governing body, FIFA’s president, Gianni Infantino, to loan Trump the World Cup, now he’s given Ivanka Trump a job. The president’s daughter has joined the advisory board of the FIFA Global Citizen Education Fund, along with Hugh Jackman, Serena Williams, The Weeknd, Shakira and, the omnipresent Infantino. If Ivanka wants to know why the players aren’t picking up the ball perhaps she can ask her little brother. Barron Trump is supposed to be quite the soccer player. Or that’s what his dad says.
I Tried to Summon Trump’s Animal Spirits…
Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has never managed to endear herself to Trump. Now she’s given some insight into why the senator from the frozen north and the Queens-born Florida man never quite hit it off. At their first meeting once he was sworn in, she talked about polar bears as well as whales, halibut and moose. Turns out he’s not an animals fan, she realized. “I’m going to have to approach this relationship in a different way,” she recalled at an event hosted by American University Women & Politics Institute for her new book, Far from Home: An Alaskan Senator Faces the Extreme Climate of Washington, D.C. And how’s approaching this relationship worked out for them since? Well, she voted to impeach him in 2021 and he backed a primary challenger in 2022. So now you know who not to ask for advice on small talk.
God Bless the USA and DJT
On the nights Lee Greenwood is busy, the Kennedy Center clearly wants to ensure that audiences know which country they are in. Either that or Center boss Ric Grenell is making sure the National Symphony Orchestra remembers the tunes. Either way, Trump’s Kennedy Center boss and high-culture culture warrior has ruled that the orchestra will begin every performance with the National Anthem.
How Did This Not End Up in A Brawl?
SPOTTED at D.C.’s 57th annual black tie Meridian Ball on Friday, which was chaired by Sela and Art Collins with Sen. Mark Warner and Lisa Collis, and Sen. David McCormick and the Hon. Dina Powell McCormick as congressional co-chairs. The ball, preceded by dinners at various embassies around town, attracted an unusually bipartisan crowd, including Sen. John Fetterman and Gisele Barreto Fetterman, Kellyanne Conway and boyfriend David Zervos, Joel Kaplan, Tammy Haddad, Nicole Nason, Alaska Gov. Mike Dunleavy, Ross and Sarah Perot, Sebastian Gorka, Alina Habba, Nick Luna, Jim Acosta, Richard Walters, Paolo Zampolli, Rep. Dan Crenshaw, Rep. Ami Bera, Sen. Chris Murphy, And all without any fisticuffs (unless you know differently, in which case tell The Swamp).
Who’s Hopping Mad?
A lone Louboutin pump jammed at the bottom of a U.S. Capitol escalator is still unclaimed, The Swamp is told. An image of the red-soled high heel ricocheted through group chats and social media. Staffers on the Hill won’t be getting paychecks until their bosses open the government back up. Which makes it all the stranger that whoever lost their pump hasn’t claimed it. Won’t someone think of the people with the $800 shoes?
Let Them Eat Books!
The Slotus Instagram account makes it clear that Second Lady Usha Vance loves children. Maybe not enough to lobby JD (a.k.a. the President of the Senate) to pressure Congress to come back into session and save food assistance programs for kids that will shut down soon… but definitely enough to post a photo of herself grinning broadly with the five lucky winners of her Summer Reading Challenge.
The contest was open to K-8 students and winners were drawn from all those who filled out an online form listing the 12 books they read. And although the GOP mocks participation trophies, the Second Lady promised that every entry would receive “a personalized certificate and a small prize!” In the IG photo, the winners all seem happy… and a little overwhelmed. But according to comments on the post, many kids were left feeling unhappy and underwhelmed. “Will my son ever receive his letter congratulating him on his participation? Everyday he asks if his letter from the SLOTUS has arrived 😢,” wrote one parent. Another chimed in, “My daughter never received anything about participation or acknowledgment in finishing this challenge. We sent the proper email and list of books that were read for the entire summer. This is a huge disappointment.” “Same for us as well,” the thread continued. “So much disappointment from a kiddo that worked hard and was so excited.” The Swamp is aware that some children did receive proper acknowledgment because back in August, Vance posted a photo of an adorable girl in blonde braids, holding her “Certificate of Completion” and the small gift…which turned out to be a bookmark inscribed with the inspiring words: “USHA VANCE SECOND LADY.” The list of parents seeking justice for their readers went on and on. But others had a more pointed question for SLOTUS. “Did they read the Epstein List?” Everything gets politicized these days, including a Summer Reading Contest.
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The post The Secret Time Capsule on an East Wing and a Prayer appeared first on The Daily Beast.
