Office crushes are bound to happen. You sit near someone five days a week, trade sarcasm over Slack, and suddenly you’re thinking way too hard about what shirt you wore. It’s normal. But in 2025, flirting at work requires a bit more finesse. One slip and you’re explaining “friendly banter” to HR.
“Workplace flirting has always existed, but the rules have changed significantly,” says Julia Stein, a Berlin-based sex consultant and relationship advisor at Drachen Toys. “What might have been acceptable office banter twenty years ago could now be grounds for an HR meeting.”
Flirting at work can be harmless or career-ending, depending on your self-awareness. Here’s how to keep things fun, respectful, and off HR’s radar.
The Do’s of Workplace Flirting
1. Keep it subtle and professional
A smile or small gesture beats a grand romantic speech every time. “Subtlety is your best friend,” Stein says. “You’re showing interest, not performing a rom-com.” Small gestures keep things light and give the other person space to respond naturally.
2. Pay attention to timing and tone
Flirting is all about context. A casual comment during lunch can feel friendly, while the same thing in a meeting might come off as weird. Notice body language. Are they tense? Are they looking at their phone? Maybe just back off.
3. Respect boundaries
If one of you signs the other’s paycheck, it’s a hard no. “No one should feel pressured to respond positively because of a power imbalance,” Stein says. Attraction doesn’t override professionalism.
4. Keep it outside office hours
If you’re going to make your move, do it after work and in a neutral setting. Drinks with a group or a casual text about something non-work-related keeps the line clear between professional and personal.
5. Handle rejection with grace
If they’re not into it, just let it go. “The worst thing you can do is get weird or distant afterward,” Stein says. “Act like the adult you are and keep things professional.”
The Don’ts of Workplace Flirting
1. Don’t use company channels
Slack and email are not your wingmen. “Assume everything you type can be seen by HR,” Stein warns. If it wouldn’t read well out loud in a deposition, don’t send it.
2. Don’t comment on appearance
Instead of lusting over how bangin’ they look in their new work outfit, it’s best to snap out of it and compliment their latest achievement or idea. “There’s no version of ‘you look hot today’ that’s appropriate at work,” Stein says.
3. Don’t ignore discomfort
If they’re pulling away, shortening conversations, or giving one-word replies, the energy’s off. Continuing to push isn’t persistence; it’s on the verge of harassment. Interest should always feel mutual.
4. Don’t involve coworkers
Keep whatever’s unfolding between you and the person involved. The second coworkers start weighing in, your crush becomes an office storyline, and that’s some high school BS that no one needs.
5. Don’t let it take over your day
If you’re hanging around their desk pretending to print something, you’re fooling no one, bud. “When attraction starts steering your decisions, that’s your cue to pull back,” Stein says. Work first, crush later.
Go ahead and flirt. But, first and foremost, remember why you’re getting paid to be there.
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