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Crappy husbands: Divorce expert insists men are ‘weaponizing pooping’

September 26, 2026
in News
Crappy husbands: Divorce expert insists men are ‘weaponizing pooping’

A divorce expert went viral for claiming men are “weaponizing pooping” — causing a major stink in the Battle of the Sexes.

Olivia Howell, author of “Divorce Happens,” claimed in a controversial article that men have used the bathroom for extended periods to avoid spending time with their families and to shirk life’s many responsibilities.

“A husband walks through the door as an active member of a family unit, shuts it behind him, and immediately becomes a private citizen,” she wrote in a Sept. 18 Substack post.

A person sitting on a toilet with a phone in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other.
Men have been weaponizing pooping and are taking their time on the porcelain throne of peace despite their family’s needs and the pressures of life, argues author Olivia Howell. Getty Images

“See, the thing is: a basement husband can theoretically be told to come upstairs. A garage husband can be interrupted. A workout can be postponed. Headphones can be removed. A hobby can be negotiated around. The bathroom is different because you cannot reasonably deny another human behind access to the toilet. ‘I have to go to the bathroom’ is one of the most powerful sentences available to a person who lives with other people,” Howell wrote.

The crappy behavior, she claimed, has been aided and abetted by humanity’s development of the smart phone.

“Now a man can disappear with an iPhone and who the f–k knows. He could be reading Reddit, checking the stock market, watching a 45-minute YouTube video about electric guitars, arguing about the Mets, playing a game, looking at porn, answering emails, or maybe, just maybe, he’s experiencing an intestinal crisis,” Howell said.

“This is the genius of the bathroom as domestic escape hatch: it comes with almost unlimited plausible deniability,” Howell wrote.

The article caused a stir on social media — drawing ire for seemingly castigating men for something they sometimes simply have to do.

“Women don’t even want you to poop,” wrote one aghast X user in a viral post.

Olivia Howell, CEO of FreshStartsRegistry.com, sitting and smiling.
Howell is a certified life and divorce coach and is author of the books “Divorce Happens.” Fresh Starts Registry

“Today I have learned that there is a new tool that the Patriarchy uses to keep subjugating women. ‘Weaponized pooping,’” joked one poster on the platform.

“Holy s–t this article is insane, I especially love this part where the women seems to be FUMING that a man in the toilet cannot be disturbed,” one reply-guy stated in a thread on X.

“How tf can you even take feminism seriously anymore at this point,” chimed another X poster.

Two people sitting at a table with a divorce agreement, pen, and two wedding rings.
The issue fanned the flames of the Battle of the Sexes with online peanut gallery declaring “Women don’t even want you to poop.” Getty Images

Others made the author and the subject the butt of their jokes.

“Pooping is my weapon and taco bell is my ammunition. I am god’s strongest soldier OORAH,” one joker posted on X.

“If your husband is weaponizing pooping by staying in there for hours, don’t overreact. He will get hemorrhoids. Wrath is God’s to give, not ours,” another poster wrote.

Howell, a mother of two, split with her husband in 2019.

The post Crappy husbands: Divorce expert insists men are ‘weaponizing pooping’ appeared first on New York Post.

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