Last week, a naked Florida man named Joshua Neal Garrison went on a nude rampage through a neighborhood in Pinellas Park, Florida, which is located in the Tampa area.
Garrison crept through backyards, touched himself, and helped himself to whatever wasn’t nailed down. He did all of this while he was as naked and free as a newborn.
One neighbor, David Dale, got to see it all live and in person when Garrison rang his doorbell in the middle of the night. “Opened the door and there was a guy standing there, and he was stark naked,” Dale told local NBC affiliate WFLA.
Florida Man Ran Naked Through a Neighborhood. Residents Nearly Shot Him.
Garrison wasn’t satisfied merely traipsing through people’s yards in the nude. He also needed to do a little bit of suburban destruction in the nude.
He allegedly threw a potted plant through Dale’s truck window, tore lights off homes, tried to break into multiple houses, and generally did the kinds of stuff you would imagine a naked man roaming a neighborhood would feel free enough to do.
Surveillance footage shows him removing window screens and testing door locks, possibly hoping to find an unlocked door to a home he could barge into.
Neighbor Tim Reischmann reported that the man entered his home, helped himself to a drink, then grabbed an axe from his shed and returned to the porch. “We don’t know why he didn’t use it,” he said, sounding almost a little disappointed that the naked man didn’t apparently think he was worthy of being ax murdered.
Reischmann added that several neighbors were locked, loaded, and ready to unload clips into a man in the way that only terrified Florida suburbanites can, and absolutely will. Thankfully, no one was injured during the ordeal.
After days of investigating and combing through footage, police arrested Garrison on October 14. He’s now facing a huge list of charges, including armed burglary, criminal mischief, and probation violations stemming from previous incidents involving grand theft auto and fleeing police.
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