Gossip grows like mold on the slippery slopes of Salt Lake City, infecting each and every corner of the state with a psychosis previously thought possible only by lead poisoning. Most of them are Gen X, though, so they probably have that too.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City just delivered yet another brilliant “bottle episode,” dedicating an entire episode to one wild event, even though none of these ladies can bottle up their feelings for even a second. They’d rather toss them in a soup-filled thermos.
It begins about as horribly as anything can, a choppy instrumental replacing the icy intro we know and love, while Whitney sings a song that can only be described as bad. Rolling Stone gives it 5 stars.
It’s all part of the redheaded rebrand of Whitney Wild Rose, a woman who used to be really fun and free-spirited. She was a good-time girl. She had blonde hair! But that all changed when her husband lost his job after they filmed Bravo’s most audacious sexy scene, causing Whitney to dive head-first into running a “company” that, somehow, employed dozens. She sported some blazers and even took still photos in a WeWork.
After all that, she’s lost her company and her lust for life, so she has decided to be a terror, again. I can’t exactly recall a time in which Whitney was subdued, but hey, part of “hilling” is just saying things and pretending they make sense.
So the ladies all head out for a little wine retreat with a special guest, Whitney’s favorite spiritual healer. The whole event is “a little Utah,” as Lisa coined Whitney all the way back in Season 1, the ladies drinking Utah wines and eating smoked salmon out of cones while the wicked winds keep knocking over flower bouquets. There’s something sinister about that.
“We are just… going down a culinary path here in Utah,” Lisa giggles, proving she’s still the smiling assassin she was way back before she became a screaming banshee.
And so we go down quite the path. It’s a real rollercoaster, a cacophony of arguments crashing down while the ladies go in and out of the spiritual healer’s little room. Every few minutes, the tone shifts from “I hope you die” to “so tell me about your mother who hates you,” providing the kind of whiplash only possible in Salt Lake City.
Every week, someone declares a Housewives episode the “funniest ever,” but this really is up there. First, Angie announces she’s selling her glass house with no decor, to which Britani looks up the listing and mutters “looks like there’s been a price adjustment,” before the ladies discuss the richest zip codes in Utah.
I mean, Britani is in the business of real estate. She knows what she’s talking about and she’s not going to—oh, Jared’s calling! Britani can only stay on a subject for two to three minutes before her court-ordered Jared mentions make it into a scene.
Mormonism makes women do crazy things, like don a “high body count” bump-it, but nothing quite covers that religious psychosis like simping for a man who looks and acts like Jared. For Britani’s daughters’ sake, I hope she gets a grip. But for our TV viewing sakes, I hope she continues to lose her hold on reality.
The ladies are talking real estate. #RHOSLC is all-new TONIGHT! pic.twitter.com/sxzJ9ByQAQ
— Bravo (@BravoTV) October 14, 2025
Once Britani exits the scene, Meredith decides to speak for the first time in three months. Here, she asks Lisa if it’s true she spread nasty rumors about the Marks family, as Angie claimed a week prior.
Lisa simply says “no 💜” and Meredith replies “yayyy.” And that’s that.
With that on ice, a Lisa and Angie argument begins, and it just… doesn’t… end. The entire cast—including those two—go to get their tarot readings while the fight rages on, Lisa taking a brief break from trying to melt Angie with her eyes to start teasing a marital troubles storyline. See, when you’re the OG of the SLC, multitasking is just par for the course.
The tarot segments are something else, following that classic Bravo archetype of “this man who watched you on TV is now telling you things he saw on TV as though he saw them in the spiritual realm.” It never fails to be funny. The healer tells Britani he thinks her relationship with her daughters is strained and guesses that Angie’s going to start a sunglasses line. Some real leaps of faith.
I’ll give him this: predicting an ominous injury of one of Angie’s horses before Angie throws and breaks a toy horse later in the episode is some lovely storytelling. Angie really tossed that horse with the “Opa!” energy of a true Greek.
Clearly, this spiritual healer didn’t get an advance screener of Season 6 though, as he tells Bronwyn that her mother, Marge aka “Muzzy,” is her “biggest supporter.” Famously, we show support for others by telling them they are nothing without their husband’s money and bring constant shame on our family through their harlot ways.
While Bronwyn cries her eyes out, Lisa and Angie lob some of the randomest insults at each other.
“You’re jealous of my face now! Oh my gosh, this is Angie. You’re so jealous,” Lisa says.
“You look like you’ve been in a wind tunnel,” Angie retorts.
“Listen, do you want me to go dark with you? Do you want to go f—ing dark? Do you want to stand up? What are you standing on, shortie?”
“Are you taller than me?”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“By at least three inches, shortie.”
I can’t paraphrase that. That’s just good banter. Seinfeld wishes.
The fight is so beautifully endearing in that you can really see how Lisa and Angie bonded years ago. They’re both so enamored by the sound of their own voice, and they both love to go low and oddly specific in their insults.
Meredith speaks for the second time in the episode to shut the ladies up, giving Bronwyn a chance to cry all over the table about the disarray in her personal life. It does not work. Nothing does. A nuclear bomb could destroy Salt Lake City and all that would remain are Britani’s polyester extensions alongside a bickering Lisa and Angie K.
No one is safe from the crossfire—not even Nordstrom, which is apparently an embarrassing place to shop now. Lisa would keel over if she saw my Nordstrom Rack finds.
Then, Lisa asks a question that we’ll probably never get the answer to: “What about Soup Man, b—-? What about Soup Man, b—-?”
Who on Earth is the Salt Lake City Soup Man? Why is he called Soup Man, and not the soup man? What is it about the Real Housewives and these weird, food-related nicknames? Nowhere else is anyone calling someone the “cookie lady” or “soup man.”
It gets to the point where Mary tries to play mediator, which says a lot about the desolate state of affairs. Angie has had the cast on her side all season just based on the fact Lisa is Lisa, but it has reached the point where everyone’s in desperate need of a life boat.
As Mary yells at Lisa, “Find somewhere to solve it! You’re an adult! You’re an adult! You’re a full-blown mom! You’re a business woman! You can solve this,” Angie pulls out a tupperware of everything Lisa has ever given her. This includes several of Elektra’s toy horses, because Lisa supports children, unlike Angie, who tried to burn down the Fresh Wolf headquarters.
“Angie, I didn’t degrade anything your family is doing. I didn’t degrade cute Elektra and her amazing horse hobbies,” Lisa says, before bopping out of the event. She loves life in the hills, so she always takes the high road.
Meanwhile, across town, Whitney starts teasing yet another marital strife storyline. Back to the drawing board, Whit. That’s Lisa’s turf this year.
Back at the table, Angie breaks down in tears over Lisa’s jabs (“I don’t know anyone who sells soup!”), leading Mary to reach her breaking point. Angie’s rage is so intense that she snaps at anyone in her way, dismissing Mary’s attempts to de-escalate the situation to the point they’re now feuding. It’s just an absolute mess; all conflict, no resolution.
“What I am angry and hurt about is that she’s willing to go so low and thinks she’s going to make me afraid, and I’m not afraid,” Angie cries, as Heather responds, “You shouldn’t be.”
“Oh my gosh! Jared has called me like four times. And texted me one, two, three, four, five, six times,” Britani replies. “I’m going to call him. Are you guys okay with that?”
I take back what I said earlier. If Salt Lake City were taken down by a nuclear blast, all that would remain are a bickering Lisa and Angie K., Britani’s polyester extensions, and the beautiful bond between these inseparably incompetent lovers.
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