There’s a new kind of dry spell moving through dating culture, and it has nothing to do with moral beliefs. More young single women are choosing celibacy, not because they’re waiting for marriage, but because they’re exhausted by the way dating feels today.
Mandana Zarghami, 29, told The New York Post she spent four years without sex after too many disappointing “situationships.” She deleted her dating apps, skipped dates, and used the time to reset her relationship patterns.
“Hookup culture doesn’t benefit women in any way; it only benefits men,” she said. What began as one year stretched into four. “The first six months to a year was so incredibly hard,” she said. “As humans, we thrive on connection and emotional vulnerability.”
These Young Single Women Are Going Celibate on Purpose
Numbers back her up. The General Social Survey reports that the share of Americans aged 18 to 29 who went a year without sex doubled between 2010 and 2024. The Institute for Family Studies found that sexlessness among young women rose by about half during that same period. Many of these women say they’re turning away from hookup culture because intimacy started feeling like another transaction.
Kayla Caputo, 29, from New Jersey, told The Post she’s taking the same approach. “Hookup culture has ruined dating because it almost feels like that’s the end goal,” she said. “People are so trained now to just ask you to come home with them.” She prefers to be upfront early. “I just say it bluntly. That lets me feel in charge and helps me spot who’s looking for something real.”
Dating coach Erika Ettin said that honesty about celibacy can make dating clearer. “While men may hope a woman will sleep with him sooner, he often respects her more if she holds off until she truly feels ready,” she explained.
For 28-year-old travel nurse Ema Skauminaite, the experience feels liberating. “I learned so much about myself, about relationships, and how I feel about it all,” she said. “My intuition got stronger.”
Celibacy, for these women, isn’t a moral statement or a rejection of desire. It’s a reset button, a way to feel in control again in a dating world that rarely offers that choice.
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