My family was worried when I married a man I met online. Five years later, our marriage proves that not everyone is a catfish.

• Shalonda Trent met her husband online and married him in Nigeria a week after meeting him in person.
• Her family warned her off him. They were horrified when she moved 6,000 miles away to Kazakhstan.
• Trent, 34, who recently returned to the US with her spouse and kids, is glad she proved them wrong.

My husband, Precious Ubaka Spik, and I often laugh that the very people who were the most opposed to our unconventional, whirlwind romance have become our greatest supporters.

Nearly every member of my American family and community was shocked in 2021 when I started direct messaging Precious, a complete stranger, on Facebook that May. I became engaged in July, met him in Dubai for the first time in November, and got married a week later in his native country, Nigeria.

They were skeptical when I went to live with him in Astana, Kazakhstan, where he taught English to children and adults, as a newlywed, to carve out a life more than 6,000 miles from the US.

Now, nearly four years later, in April 2025, close relatives, including my mom, dad, and siblings, joined my church family in welcoming Precious to our home city of New Haven, Connecticut.

The green card process cost us around $1,500

Gone are the days when they thought he was a scammer — my pastor had warned me about about a love-struck woman being conned by a guy on the internet, which has been replaced by trust and warmth.

Precious, 35, who plays the piano in church, has a green card and has already worked several jobs stateside. Best of all, he’s the father of our three beautiful kids: Amaya, 3, Adrian, 2, both born in Kasakshtan, and Ameeyah, born this July in Connecticut.

Precious qualified for his green card three and a half years after our wedding, which he was awarded in March 2024. Many people think it has been a long time, and it costs us around $1,500.

It wasn’t like in the movies, where both the husband and wife are interviewed separately and questioned about each other’s habits. Instead, Precious went alone to the US embassy and consulate in Almaty, Kazakhstan. We saved money by not hiring a lawyer and put together the proof ourselves, such as our joint finances, pictures from the wedding, and supporting letters from the family.

We could have stayed in Kazakhstan, where Precious earned a salary equivalent to $1,300 a month, which went a long way because the cost of living is relatively low. I learned to speak Russian via an app and picked up a few well-paying jobs teaching English and helping an author write a cookery book. We had a luxurious apartment in Astana.

Meanwhile, I met some great friends from the expat community who were in the same position as we were.

We found that there isn’t much diversity in Kazakhstan

However, there were mounting problems with staying abroad.

There isn’t much diversity, and since Precious and I are Black, strangers would stop us in the street and ask us to take photographs with them. It often made me feel uncomfortable.

I wanted my children to be surrounded by peers who look like them.

Also, I was homesick and went through a range of negative emotions. It was made worse by being a new mother without an immediate support network from my blood relatives. I’d say to Precious, “I want to go back to my own country.”

Like many immigrants, he had to start his career again from scratch after we moved. He was employed for around minimum wage at Amazon and Macy’s before going into caretaking for older people, which pays $22 an hour. He also works as a security guard and is training for his pistol license to improve his job opportunities. With it, he will be able to earn up to $50 an hour.

I’m juggling being at home with the kids and studying online for an undergraduate degree in psychology. If all goes to plan, I’ll graduate in November. My first step is to secure a case manager position in mental health. My ultimate goal is to become a board-certified behavior analyst.

All in all, I’m glad we came back to the US. But I’m not sure whether we’ll stay more than five or six years. Precious wants to return to Nigeria and enter politics. I’m supporting him in every way I can.

Our story shows that not everybody you randomly meet on the internet is a catfish. I’m proof that you shouldn’t let anyone talk you out of taking risks. You could miss out on the greatest opportunities in life.

Do you have a story to share about the unconventional way you met your spouse or living away from the US? Send details to this reporter at [email protected].

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