The best way to ask old connections for help with your job search

• Getting a job often requires networking — especially in a tight labor market.
• Most people will understand why you’re reaching out because they’ve been laid off before or know someone who has.
• Consider asking to hop on a brief call. A live chat is often the best way to rebuild rapport.

If you’re looking for a job, now is not the time to be shy.

In today’s brutally competitive employment market, career advisors say networking is critical — even if that means reaching out to former colleagues, old friends, or other folks you haven’t spoken to in years because they now work at a company you’re targeting.

Roy Cohen, a career coach in New York, said a client recently did this via LinkedIn after spotting an attractive job opening at a private-equity firm where his former college roommate is employed. Though they hadn’t been in touch in over a decade, the former roommate responded by offering to make an introduction to the hiring manager for the position.

“It takes a little bit of courage to tell people you need help, but you need to try to create an advantage for yourself,” said Cohen.

Don’t think of pinging old contacts as pestering, added Rich Gee, an executive coach in Stamford, Connecticut. Most people have either been laid off themselves or know someone who has.

“Twenty years ago, it was taboo,” he said. “Now companies are laying off thousands of people.”

What to write in your message

With your outreach, Gee suggests using a brief and lighthearted subject line such as It’s been a while! or Long time no talk!

Start the body of the message by reminding the person how you know each other, said Kevin Grunewald, a recruiter in Texas. He recently got a LinkedIn message from someone whose name he didn’t recognize until the person noted that they’d worked together about eight years earlier and had spent a lot of time brainstorming ideas on a whiteboard.

“It just brought me back to that meeting room,” Grunewald recalled, adding that he later referred the former colleague to an employer he knew had an opening that fit their background. A few weeks later, the person got the job.

Also in your message, say something complimentary as a show of respect, advises Gee. Check their LinkedIn profile for ideas. Maybe they recently celebrated a work anniversary, had a child, or spoke at a conference. “You’re talking about them and not just yourself,” he said.

From here, mention your interest in the role where the person works and briefly explain why you’re qualified, said Jeff Neil, a New York career coach. Recommending someone without knowing their fit can be risky, so make it clear up front. For example: I’m not sure you know, but I have a degree in [X] and have spent the past [X] years doing [X].“

Play it cool

Don’t ask outright for a favor, like a hiring manager’s contact info, as that can be off-putting, warned Amanda Goodall, a workforce-intelligence consultant known as “The Job Chick.” Instead, ask for the person’s advice on the best way to pursue the role or what they think about the opportunity. For example, say you’re considering submitting your résumé and would value their opinion.

“It’s a flattery technique. People love to talk about what they know,” said Goodall, adding the person may even offer a referral, especially if he or she works at a firm that rewards employees for recommending applicants they end up hiring.

Also consider asking if he or she would be willing to hop on a 20-minute call. A live conversation is often the best way to rebuild rapport, said Janet Fagan, a career coach in New Mexico. Saying you only need a few minutes should make them more receptive than leaving the request open-ended, she said.

Finally, sign off by offering to be a resource in return, Fagan said. People appreciate knowing their help could pay off down the line, she said.

Don’t stop now

If you don’t hear back from your old connection right away, wait a week and try once more, said Neil. They may have missed your message while on vacation or busy with a big project.

Meanwhile, keep networking, said Goodall. If you regret losing touch with the people you’re now looking to for help, treat this moment as a lesson in the importance of maintaining relationships. Even if contacts aren’t helpful now, they may be later if you check in regularly.

“Set a reminder in your calendar to reach out to people every few months, just to keep that spark alive,” said Goodall. “People don’t want to feel used.”

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