I work in a large medical center. A manager in my department is going through a difficult divorce while caring for young children. She has been here more than 20 years and is well known to many, though I’ve been in the department only a little while and don’t know her well. Still, she has always been kind and willing to help when needed.
Recently, another staff member set up a GoFundMe on her behalf, with her knowledge, to raise money for divorce-related legal fees. The fund-raiser has been promoted departmentwide, and I’ve been solicited directly. While I sympathize with her hardship, asking colleagues to contribute to legal expenses for a personal matter feels inappropriate.
The GoFundMe shows who donated and how much. Though there’s an option to give anonymously, many colleagues have used their names. If I abstain or donate anonymously, I worry it will look as though I’m unsupportive. If I give publicly, it feels like performance — particularly with some colleagues contributing large sums. If the fund-raiser had to happen, it would have been far better if all donations were anonymous. I’m financially able to contribute; the problem is the awkwardness of being put in this position and the concern that whatever I do might be held against me later. — Name Withheld
From the Ethicist:
Once solicitation enters the workplace, it can blur professional and private life, introduce subtle coercion and set a precedent that can quickly spiral. If employees can be enlisted to support this cause, why not the next? That’s why many organizations have rules against personal fund-raising on work time or through work channels. So you wouldn’t go wrong to raise the issue with the folks in H.R. You don’t need to make it a complaint; simply point out that this method of solicitation puts people in a bind and runs against sound workplace practices. Establishing a nonsolicitation norm is a means to avoid the unhealthy dynamic you’ve described.
Unfortunately, the fund-raiser is already underway. If you wanted to contribute, the best way to protect your integrity is to donate anonymously. But nobody in your workplace should feel pressed to prove their collegiality with their wallet.
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