When Peter Gustav Riherd and Jeffrey Jon Van Dyk connected on OkCupid almost nine years ago, each had a history of gravitating toward a specific type.
Mr. Riherd, 55, a corporate executive who favors structure and planning ahead, typically found himself drawn to men whom he described as “strait-laced.” Mr. Van Dyk, 52, an entrepreneur and a professionally trained singer, usually pursued free-spirited creatives.
Today, Mr. Van Dyk likens himself to a kite and Mr. Riherd to a string.
“Pete and I both dated our fantasy guys before meeting each other, and with both of them, it just crashed and burned in a million pieces,” Mr. Van Dyk said. “Our fantasies had to crumble to make room for something real.”
For both men, life doesn’t get much more real than the past year.
In January, shortly after the pair got engaged, the Eaton fire destroyed part of the Southern California property where Mr. Riherd’s father, Mike Riherd, then 89, had lived for more than five decades. Displaced, he moved into their Los Angeles home.
The months that followed brought further hardship for Mike Riherd, including a cancer diagnosis and major surgery, and his son and future son-in-law stepped into caregiver mode.
Navigating the physical and emotional challenges of caregiving together deepened the pair’s bond. “I’ve always loved and respected Pete, but watching how he has shown up for his father … ” Mr. Van Dyk said. “Just amazing.”
Mr. Riherd speaks of his partner with a hint of awe at how naturally he stepped into the role of caregiver, especially for someone who is not even a blood relative. Mr. Riherd recalled one night when he found Mr. Van Dyk kneeling beside his trembling future father-in-law at 1 a.m., calming the man’s unsteady breathing and getting him through a rough episode.
“Point No. 1,497 why I’m marrying Jeffrey,” Mr. Riherd said. “He legitimately came through.”
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Mr. Riherd is a vice president of client partnerships at Zeta Global, an artificial intelligence-driven ad technology firm. He has a bachelor’s degree in English literature from the University of California, Berkeley, and an M.B.A. from the University of Southern California.
Mr. Van Dyk, a former Microsoft project manager, runs the Courageous Messenger, a consultancy firm for business leaders. He has a bachelor’s degree in music from St. Olaf College and sometimes records songs, including “Champion,” which he co-wrote for Mr. Riherd. He “believes in me so fully, so lock, stock and barrel,” Mr. Van Dyk said.
“He’s not a savior, but a champion,” the lyrics go. “My champion.”
The pair first connected online in October 2016 after both had spent considerable time reflecting on what went awry in their previous relationships and what qualities mattered most in a mate.
By the time they met in person on Nov. 1, they’d had four wide-ranging phone conversations, each lasting at least an hour and a half. That easy rapport carried over into their date at Zinqué, a bistro in West Hollywood, Calif. During a hike a few days later, they shared their first kiss.
“When we started dating, sometimes in my head I’d be like, ‘He’s not this or he’s not that,’” Mr. Van Dyk said. “But every time I would leave a date, or every time we’d hang up the phone, I’d have a big old smile on my face. My gut was like, ‘Stay right here.’”
In November 2017, Mr. Van Dyk moved into Mr. Riherd’s house in the Beachwood Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles. And in March 2019, they bought a home together in Los Feliz, where they currently live with their Border terrier, Tucker.
“We accept each other for who we are, and who we aren’t,” Mr. Riherd said.
The couple married Sept. 6 at Huron Substation, an events space in Los Angeles, wearing matching blue linen suits and exchanging rings engraved with playful nicknames for one another — “Boobers” for Mr. Van Dyk, “Schmoopi” for Mr. Riherd. The officiant was Mr. Van Dyk’s younger brother, Josh Van Dyk, who was ordained through American Marriage Ministries for the occasion.
While the couple has long known they wanted to spend their lives together, they decided to get married now, at least in part, so Mr. Riherd’s father could bear witness. Sept. 6 also marked Mike Riherd’s 90th birthday, and at the wedding reception, 100 guests raised their glasses to him.
The tribute felt particularly fitting given how integral Mr. Riherd’s father has been to the couple’s story — and to Mr. Riherd’s dating life more broadly, given his role as his son’s confidant for matters of the heart. After Mr. Riherd’s first date with Mr. Van Dyk, he immediately called his father from the car.
“Well,” he told him excitedly, “that went well.”
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