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Comedian Rips Into Keystone Kash: Couldn’t Settle a DoorDash Dispute

September 14, 2025
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Comedian Rips Into Keystone Kash: Couldn’t Settle a DoorDash Dispute
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Comedian Tim Dillon isn’t confident that the leader of the FBI could crack the case of a messed-up DoorDash delivery.

Dillon ripped into FBI Director Kash Patel in the wake of the agency’s bungled response to the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk last week.

“If I had a dispute with DoorDash and Kash Patel was investigating it, would I get the credit?” a straight-faced Dillon mused in a Saturday episode of his eponymous podcast. “I imagine I would not. I imagine if there was a discrepancy on a DoorDash order, the head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Kash Patel, would not be able to secure my credit of $11.90.”

Kash Patel
FBI Director Kash Patel has taken heat for his agency’s bungled response to the shooting of conservative activist Charlie Kirk. REUTERS/Cheney Orr

Two individuals were taken into custody shortly after Kirk was shot dead while speaking at Utah Valley University. Both people were later released, however, after authorities determined that they were not responsible for the shocking crime.

Patel made sure to keep his X followers updated on the on-again, off-again pursuit for the killer, sowing confusion in the process. The suspect, 22-year-old Tyler Robinson, was eventually handed over to law enforcement by his own father.

“What is this guy doing?” Dillon said of the FBI chief. “The guy that did this to Charlie, his parents turned him in. I mean, what could Kash Patel run? This is kind of an interesting question. What organization could Kash Patel run credibly? I don’t know.”

Patel also took heat for showing up in Utah while the manhunt was ongoing. Andrew McCabe, the FBI deputy director during the first Trump administration, told CNN that the move imposed “a huge burden” on the field office, forcing them to figure out arrangements and address security concerns while an investigation was still active.

Patel appeared to shift the blame onto some 200 agents whom he dressed down in a call last week. According to The New York Times, the FBI chief accused his staff of running a “Mickey Mouse operation” in an expletive-laden rant.

But President Donald Trump has signaled continued faith in his pick for the FBI, telling Fox News’ Brooke Singman: “I am very proud of the FBI. Kash—and everyone else— they have done a great job.”

Sought for comment, the FBI said it was working to hold Kirk’s killer accountable.

“The FBI is working with our law enforcement partners in Utah to bring to justice the individual allegedly responsible for the horrific murder of Charlie Kirk — and we will continue to be transparent with the American people with real-time updates as we are able,” it said.

The post Comedian Rips Into Keystone Kash: Couldn’t Settle a DoorDash Dispute appeared first on The Daily Beast.

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