Twenty years ago, watching your partner hook up with someone else would’ve been a total dealbreaker. Now, it might be what saves the relationship.
Sex educator Adreena Winters wants to take cuckolding out of the shadows—not as a kink for the desperate or humiliated, but as a reset button for couples who’ve run out of ways to reconnect.
It’s not new territory. We’ve already talked about hotwifing, where married women sleep with other men, and how some couples swear it saved their marriage. Winters is arguing something similar: that consensual non-monogamy can work if it’s honest, structured, and mutual.
These Couples Say Sleeping Around Actually Saved Their Marriage
“Depending on why the relationship is in trouble, it can absolutely save it,” she told Jam Press, via The Sun. She’s seen people reignite emotional and sexual intimacy by stepping way outside the usual rules. It doesn’t start with sex. It begins with curiosity. What have you been afraid to say out loud? What do you want that you haven’t asked for? Who are you pretending to be fine for?
According to Winters, cuckolding forces those questions to the surface. It doesn’t hide from jealousy—it makes couples look it in the eye. She says it’s especially transformative for long-term partners who’ve hit a wall. Some use it to explore unmet sexual needs. Others want to shake off the autopilot and start seeing each other again.
That includes couples where the sex hasn’t been working. “Maybe a woman is with someone who they love and is a good partner, but doesn’t satisfy them sexually as well as someone else might be able to,” Winters said. Instead of resentfully stewing in frustration, they’re allowed to talk about it—and sometimes, fix it.
She knows it sounds controversial. However, according to Winters, those who do this well don’t end up feeling rejected. They feel seen. “It actually takes a lot of strength from the man to give you the space to explore,” she said.
Cuckolding won’t fix every relationship. But for some couples, it’s the thing that finally starts the conversation they should’ve had years ago.
It’s strange what can reignite chemistry. Jealousy. Honesty. Even permission.
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