Many believe that once trust is broken, it can never be rebuilt. However, that’s not always the case. People can change, grow, and heal—whether you decide to give your partner a second chance (or vice versa) after a betrayal is up to you.
No one owes anyone else loyalty after being lied to, cheated on, or kept in the dark about an important matter. However, if you do decide to move forward, there are some healthy ways to regain that faith in your partner and relationship.
Here are five ways to rebuild trust in a relationship.
1. Take Care of Your Own Needs
Right now, it’s important to prioritize your own needs—because no one else can do that for you. Take some space to process the broken trust, regardless of whether it was you or your partner who caused it. Journal it out, talk to a therapist or trusted loved one, and take care of your health in the process. This will ensure you’re in the right headspace for the conversations to come.
2. Empathize With Each Other
It’s crucial to hear each other out when working through broken trust. Try to understand each other’s sides, even if it makes no sense to you. If you want to move forward together, you must be willing to have difficult conversations.
But remember: no one is forcing you to work through the distrust. So, if this feels too difficult for you, maybe that’s a sign to take a step back—at least for now.
3. Work Toward a New Type of Relationship
Oftentimes, when trust is broken in a relationship, all the naivety and bliss you once experienced feel fraudulent. You might end up resenting each other even more if you try to recreate exactly what you had prior to the betrayal or lying. Unfortunately, you will never get back what you once had.
But the good news is you can create something even more beautiful and meaningful.
After discovering that your old relationship wasn’t working in the way you’d hoped, it helps to set the standard for a new type of relationship. For example, maybe you decide to spend more time apart and pursue your own independence while still in the relationship. Or, on the other hand, perhaps you have clearer, stricter boundaries in place. You might even decide to attend couples therapy together.
Whatever the case, you can’t continue down the same path and expect a different destination.
4. Practice Patience
If you feel like you’re trying to race toward a healed place, remember that it takes time to rebuild trust. You can’t expect yourself to believe everything your partner says or promises directly after a betrayal (or vice versa, depending on the person who broke the trust). Both of you need to be patient with yourselves and each other throughout the process.
5. Be Honest With Yourself
Yesterday, I wrote an article about working through resentment in a relationship. In doing so, I mentioned that sometimes, you have to admit when you can’t work through an issue. You must be honest with yourself when asking, “Can I really forgive this person and move forward with them?”
It is completely valid if you don’t feel like you can emotionally move past the broken trust, but you have to be candid about it. Otherwise, you will only further hurt yourself and your partner, as well as your connection. You can’t force yourself to forgive or forget, nor should you have to.
Choosing not to move forward doesn’t mean giving up; it means you’re preserving both yourself and the connection. If you’re meant to find each other again down the line, then you will. But right now, you will do more damage if you stay in something that’s only breeding resentment and distrust.
The post 5 Tips for Rebuilding Trust in a Relationship appeared first on VICE.
