They just keep coming: “air rage” incidents, like the fist fight videos on planes that go viral every few months. Just this year, a passenger spit on a woman, another threatened to crash a plane midflight and Ryanair instituted a fine — 500 pounds (about $675) in Britain, 500 euros (about $583) in Europe — for those offloaded from flights for causing trouble.
It’s a problem that peaked during the early part of the Covid-19 pandemic but hasn’t gone away. The Federal Aviation Administration reported a nearly sixfold rise in unruly passenger incidents to 5,973 in 2021, as flights were beginning to take off again. Since then, reports have dropped — there were 2,102 in 2024 — but they have yet to return to prepandemic levels.
Experts on air rage attribute the broad increase to a shift in social norms since at least the start of the pandemic, and add that the airline industry’s tight margins following losses during the pandemic add a systemic pressure that trickles down to individuals in the aisles.
Passenger comfort is a lower priority, said Dr. Alison Vredenburgh, an industrial-organizational psychologist, who called the situation a perfect storm. “All of the design features of flying increase the probability of conflict,” she said. “The airlines themselves need to decide that this is not working.”
Since a systemwide revamp of air travel is a long way off, here are tips on how to keep from having a meltdown that might be captured in the next viral video.
Know the warning signs
The main points of tension are easily identified: A crowd that has been waiting too long at the gate to board. A cramped seat in economy class. The frenzied competition for overhead storage bins. Lack of space is probably the biggest trigger, said Dr. Ilene Zackowitz, a business partner of Dr. Vredenburgh and co-author with her and Aly Vredenburgh of the 2016 paper “Air Rage: What Factors Influence Airline Passenger Anger?”
“People taking up your space, people that have a bad odor, or that bring food with a strong odor, people that are loud,” she said. “Those things that are assaulting the senses were most likely to instigate some negative feelings.”
Lisa Grotts, the author of “A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World,” advises travelers to control their emotions and resist the temptation to perform as if on a stage.
“You can’t control the aisle,” she continued. “The only thing that you can manage is your behavior. So if you feel your blood pressure rising, take a deep breath, because I like to say: ‘Don’t engage, because there could be rage.’ So rage is not going to earn you an upgrade. It’s just going to earn you a seat off the plane.”
Words to avoid
To keep heated situations from boiling over, try not to use the word “you,” especially in an accusatory tone, said Sara Jane Ho, an etiquette expert and host of “Mind Your Manners” on Netflix. Steer clear of “have to,” also, she added — people don’t like being told what to do.
So, hypothetically, when the cabin is filling up and passengers are looking to stow baggage and get settled, an opening line like “You need to move your bag” isn’t a great start. Try something like, “I’d like to fit my bag in there, too,” instead.
If things start to get ugly, try not to reciprocate. Don’t disregard the other party’s concerns — try to hear them out and understand where they might be coming from.
Aly Vredenburgh, the daughter of Dr. Vredenburgh and founder of the Belonging Lab community mental health nonprofit, said that making people feel invalidated can trigger rage, since anger can stem from perceived violations of personal space, safety, fairness or dignity.
“Insults and name calling could definitely also escalate things,” she added.
What to say instead
Ms. Ho said that instead of saying “you,” shift the focus to “I.”
“Just focus on your experience, because nobody can argue with that,” she added.
Start any request with an “excuse me,” Ms. Ho suggested, and a “would you mind?” would help, too. “Even just psychologically, when someone feels like it’s a question, they’re already much more receptive to it.”
In the hypothetical cited above, a better approach would be, “Excuse me, would you mind moving your bag? I’d be very grateful.”
Try to validate a tense fellow traveler’s experience, said Dr. Vredenburgh. If, for instance, a parent is struggling with an upset child, you could offer to hold the child or distract them briefly while the parent uses the restroom or takes a moment to eat.
“If someone bumps into you, pushes their seat abruptly, or does something that’s not exactly poised, just be calm about it,” said Ms. Grotts. “Don’t try to correct it. You can do it calmly, but always, when in doubt, press your call button and let the cabin staff deal with it.”
That is an important point: Passengers aren’t there to enforce the rules of the plane, that is the crew’s job. So consider when to get the staff involved, and avoid any conflict with the crew.
“We are trained in how to defuse difficult situations,” said Ms. Lord-Jones. “If you are uncomfortable with another passenger’s behavior, the sooner you alert the crew, the better, so that we could go ahead, then, and intervene.”
The alcohol effect
The addition of alcohol, which lowers inhibitions, often compounds the risk that a line gets crossed — which can fuel passenger altercations with the crew, too.
“Obviously, if a passenger or passengers are inebriated, they’re going to show possible bad behavior,” said Kathleen Lord-Jones, an aviation cabin safety expert who was a flight attendant for nearly 25 years. “And it would be like a bar fight on an airplane.”
So it’s a good idea to limit your drinking before and during a flight — or at least wait until well after takeoff to have one.
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