Here’s a fun thought experiment:
Considering that Elon Musk has recently been feuding with Trump, but presumably still wants the government to buy Tesla vehicles since the public doesn’t seem to be doing that since Elon decided to go full Nazi, would you consider it an insult or just more run-of-the-mill corruption if you were told that the US Air Force is interested in buying a bunch of Cybertruck to use them as target practice?
According to documents obtained by the military blog The War Zone, the U.S. Air Force is preparing to blow up a pair of Elon’s prized but universally unwanted stainless steel dumpsters for “live missile firing testing” at White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico.
In total, 33 vehicles will be purchased, but it’s the inclusion of the Cybertruck that seems most fascinating. The trucks don’t need to function; they need to be able to roll forward and get obliterated, which they seem to do just fine on their own.
America’s Military Is Lining Up Cybertrucks for Target Practice
The reason the Air Force will include Cybertrucks among the 33 total vehicles they’re going to destroy is that the Air Force suspects that US adversaries might start using the unsellable monstrosities in combat due to their alleged durability.
It seems fitting that in an attempt to build the cool, edgy midlife crisis car of the future, Elon built a vehicle that may one day be exclusively driven by people who will be chanting “death to America” before being exploded in it.
In a justification memo, a contracting officer claimed the trucks “have been found not to receive the normal extent of damage expected upon major impact.” Translation: They’re weirdly hard to blow up, and that’s a tactical concern. One may have built a car that America’s enemies will drive, making it more challenging to explode.
That’s not an unfounded concern.
This paranoia isn’t entirely unfounded. Last year, Chechen warlord Ramzan Kadyrov showed off a modified Cybertruck mounted with a machine gun, supposedly destined for the war in Ukraine.
The vehicle never made it after Kadyrov accused Tesla of remotely bricking it, then publicly called Musk “not manly,” which, given the obsession with masculinity of today’s dipsh*t global leadership, it’s surprising that the insult didn’t lead to a nuclear war.
Despite Musk’s claim that the Cybertruck is “apocalypse proof,” a claim that actual Doomsday Preppers heavily refute, experts say it would be pretty useless in actual combat scenarios. Since its launch in 2023, the truck has been subject to eight recalls for issues including self-detaching trim and a sticky accelerator pedal.
The Air Force is just covering all bases, trying to see what kind of vehicles their missiles can blow up most easily. While the Cybertruck might be slightly tougher than your average Toyota, you probably shouldn’t expect them on the field of battle anytime soon, since the only people the Cybertruck seems to be good at killing are other people driving them.
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