A funeral director has shared her shock when a woman walked through the funeral home doors, asking to collect cremated remains—thirteen years after the person had died.
Melissa Schmidt, from Long Island, has been a licensed funeral director and embalmer for 12 years, and shares her inside view of the profession online under the handle @funeralbabe. But despite over a decade of experience, there are still surprises.
“It honestly caught me off guard, but it certainly wasn’t the first time and I’m sure not the last,” 34-year-old Schmidt told Newsweek. “We always hope families come back, but after more than a decade, you assume the remains may never be claimed.”
When the woman finally came in for the ashes, she explained that the delay came from a miscommunication within the family—something Schmidt said is common.
“Grief, family dynamics, or even just not being ready can delay someone’s ability to pick up cremated remains,” she said. “We’ve held cremated remains for months, years, and in some cases, decades. It’s heartbreaking, but also very human.”
According to the Cremation Association of North America (CANA), cremation is the most popular choice for people after death in the U.S. In 2024, the cremation rate in the U.S. reached 61.8 percent, and CANA predicts this number will rise to 67.9 percent by 2029.
Given that the U.S. sees approximately 3 million deaths annually, this percentage means that roughly 1.85 million people were cremated in 2024.
Schmidt shares the reality of her job with her thousands of followers online, posting the video of the moment the remains were finally collected on Instagram, where it has since been viewed 1.1 million times.
“They said ‘I think you have my grandma’ and I said ‘Ma’am… she’s been here longer than I have’,” she captioned the video.
Revealing more about why she posts on social media, Schmidt: “I like pulling back the curtain and giving people a deeper understanding while also bringing some empathy and perspective. I’ve been overwhelmed, in the best way, by how many people resonated with it or felt seen by it.”
In the comments, people shared their reactions. “I can’t imagine someone waiting all that time to pick up a loved one,” wrote viewer Breephoenix. While others could relate to the idea of leaving ashes for a while before picking them up.
“One of my colleagues left her dad at the funeral home for 4 years as she thought it would be better to collect him on what would’ve been his 90th birthday,” wrote M_alicexo. While Ginia_bear said: “Happened in my family, I’ll say one of the biggest factors was the grief process.”
“What matters is that they are still there and ready to be reunited with family whether it be for forever or the very last time,” wrote Combat.gauze.
For Schmidt, sharing this moment gave others an important look at something many people don’t know much about. “I shared it because people often have no idea how this part of funeral service works,” she said. “When they finally came in, it was unexpected and quietly emotional. It reminded me that grief doesn’t follow a timeline.”
This isn’t the first time a funeral director has shared a behind-the-scenes look at the job. In 2023 one worker shared the unexpected things she finds among cremated remains, while another undertaker revealed the things that people don’t know about what happens after death.
The post Funeral Home Cremates Woman’s Remains, 13 Years Later Gets Unexpected Call appeared first on Newsweek.
