Dating can be terrifying today, even for the most secure individuals. You can never be fully sure of someone’s intentions, especially early on in a connection. Sometimes, all you can do is trust that the person is on the same page and is who they are presenting to be.
However, there are often some warning signs of problematic partners if you’re willing to see them. Here are five green flags to look for when dating, with real-life examples from Redditors.
1. They Treat Everyone (Not Just You) With Kindness
It’s easy to find someone who is kind and warm toward the person they have feelings for. However, it’s far more important to choose someone who expresses that same care to everyone, including strangers who can’t always repay the favor.
One Redditor, u/laurenlo26, shared her own experience of this.
“On our first official dinner date, my now husband was like 10 minutes late because he was helping some guy jump his car in the parking lot. I guess his car battery had the corrosion stuff on it, so he came inside with his button-down sleeves rolled up and his hands dirty and he apologized for being late and told me why, and went to wash off in the bathroom real fast. I thought he looked so cute when he came in and loved how helpful he was to someone having a bad day. The guy whose car he jumped came in a bit later and bought us a round of drinks too!
To this day, he is STILL the guy who will jump a person’s car or help someone out who needs it and is incredibly polite and thoughtful of everyone around him. He’s my green flag every day.”
2. They Listen as Well as They Talk
Good communication is more than just talking through your own thoughts and feelings. It means truly listening and hearing your partner when they open up, as well.
U/Budget-Macaron-6827 agreed with this sentiment, stating their green flag is “when they genuinely listen without waiting for their turn to talk—it’s like, wow, communication exists!”
3. They’re Patient and Non-Reactive
We all have our moments and reactions we’re not proud of. However, someone who can practice patience and calm their anger before an outburst is the greenest of green flags.
“My partner is the slowest to anger person I’ve ever met,” u/allforvienna wrote on Reddit. “We can argue, but he’s never lost his s**t and screamed at me like I’ve seen men do to my friends. He’ll be angry and, of course, talking intensely, and he still barely raises his voice. No tantrums, ever. His parents are the same, just calm people. It’s really nice, coming from a high-anger, volatile family like I did!!”
4. They Take Accountability for Their Mistakes
In a relationship, the goal should not be to act perfectly at all times, as you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Rather, it should be to take accountability for your mistakes and learn, grow, and implement healthier habits going forward.
U/uncultured_swine2099 said their green flag in dating is someone who “says sorry when they do something wrong and seeks to change it in the future.”
“Everyone screws up, but I’m seeing [fewer] and [fewer] people admit they are wrong these days,” they continued. “If someone apologizes and learns, that’s a really good sign. Especially if they can realize that when they’re arguing and just turn it around in the heat of the moment without waiting for their emotions to calm down. That means they really just want to come to the best conclusion possible over being right.”
5. They’re Considerate Without You Even Asking
This story from u/Dark_sable serves as a great reminder that the simplest gestures can have the greatest impact:
“When I started my last long-term relationship, his power move (green flag) was to ask me what house chore was my least favorite (this happens to be taking out the garbage), and from that point forward, anytime we hung out at my place, he would take the trash out for me,” the Redditor wrote. “It’s such a small thing, but I liked that he was consistent about helping with even a small detail like that.”
The post 5 Green Flags to Look For When Dating—With to Real-Life Examples appeared first on VICE.
