When my daughter and daughter-in-law both asked me to throw their baby showers, I was thrilled. I feel privileged to be a grandmother.

Although I had never hosted a baby shower before, I gladly took on the task when my daughter told me she was pregnant in the early spring of 2014. I was excited about becoming a grandmother and wanted to make sure everything about my daughter’s experience of becoming a mother was smooth and joyful.

A little over two years later, I received the same news from my daughter-in-law and once again volunteered. Both of my own showers were thrown by friends, and I wanted to make both of these experiences part of the memories we were creating as a family.

Here’s how I approached both events as a grandmother-to-be.

Hosting a baby shower for my first grandchild was a dream

My daughter wanted a sit-down tea party, so we discussed a variety of venues — we agreed that my two-bedroom condo wouldn’t accommodate her vision, or the number of guests we’d want to invite.

I discovered the Strathmore Mansion in North Bethesda, Maryland, held afternoon tea events and could accommodate our group of 20 in a separate room. After consulting with my daughter, we settled on inviting a mix of her friends, my friends, and local family. Both her best friend and one of her grandmothers from Florida flew in for the special day.

The mansion already has lovely decor, and since we knew she was having a baby girl, I decided to create my own table centerpieces using yellow daffodils and disposable diapers tied together with pink and white polka dot ribbons. Strathmore even had a violinist playing background music.

I consulted with her best friend to get her perspective on additional preparations, but the beautiful environment made decorating quite easy.

The emphasis of this event was on the mother-to-be; though the baby’s name had already been decided, I didn’t display it anywhere, and kept the focus on my daughter. She had already created a registry to help guests choose gifts, and the event space included a space for opening gifts, so we could all admire what everyone brought. It was a special event, and we’ll always remember it.

I also got to host a baby shower for my daughter-in-law

Two years later, my daughter-in-law was pregnant. After speaking with her, we decided to make the event smaller and more personal than the baby shower I’d thrown for my daughter. We agreed that a celebratory gathering in my living room with everyone sitting on couches and chairs would suffice.

I was lucky because one of her closest friends in the area enjoyed creating party decorations. She helped to make the room festive and unique, including large baby blocks and cupcakes with the baby-to-be’s first name on them. While the emphasis in baby showers is usually on the mothers themselves, in this case, we also celebrated the little girl we were expecting by using her name as part of the decorations.

Since my daughter-in-law is originally from Alabama, I knew that many of her closest friends would not be able to attend the shower. So, I focused on making sure the focus was on her local friends, her mother, and the few out-of-town friends who could attend. I did not invite any of my own friends, but local family members came.

A key part of this shower was getting her best local friend involved right away. She created the decorations and helped me make decisions based on my daughter-in-law’s preferences. I also communicated with her out-of-town friends to get ideas about refreshments, so they’d feel included and so I knew they’d have something they liked. This celebration was more of a luncheon than a tea party.

Her friend and I set up a nice spot by the large living room windows for her to sit as the honored guest and open presents. She had also set up a baby registry. It was a different, less formal baby shower that seemed to suit this mother-to-be well. In her thank-you note to me, she described the event as “sweet.” I count that as a win.

It’s a privilege to help them out

We have all heard the philosophy that it takes a village, and while it sounds trite, I believe it’s true. Both my daughter and daughter-in-law have confided in me about some of the challenges motherhood brings, and both depend on me to help, which I consider a privilege.

One of the best things about becoming a grandmother is being involved with my grandchildren and helping make the child-rearing process a bit easier for my daughter and her husband, as well as my son and daughter-in-law. Hosting these baby showers was an honor and helped connect me to their paths as mothers.

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