Have you heard of the infamous black cat and golden retriever duo in dating? Many theorize that the ideal relationship, whether romantic or platonic, involves one of each of these archetypes. They’re believed to balance each other out, offering their own strengths and weaknesses that complement the others.
This begs the question: Are you a black cat or a golden retriever partner in your relationship? And if you’re either one, is your partner the other? How do you strike the perfect balance?
Let’s dive in.
What Is a Black Cat Partner?
The black cat partner is usually the one who’s more introverted, guarded, and mysterious than their partner. They might come off as intimidating, but usually, they’re just reserved and protecting themselves.
According to Kathryn Smerling, PhD, LCSW, and family therapist, who spoke with TODAY, “The black cat can either be intimidating or intimidated.”
“It could either be because it represents a person who’s normally very interior-motivated, and perhaps shy, who doesn’t thrive on social interaction like the golden retriever,” she explained. “It’s a person who gets more solace in spending time alone and being pensiv, but is also very, very loyal, very affectionate and kind and listens well.”
As someone who has an actual black cat, I’d be the first to say that this type of partner (in human form, of course) is ideal. While they might be slow to warm up, they’re fiercely loyal and protective of the ones they love.
Usually, people label this the “black cat girlfriend” instead of partner. However, any gender can hold this title.
What Is a Golden Retriever Partner?
Opposite of the black cat, the golden retriever partner is one who is more social, extroverted, and eager to please. If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “They’re just happy to be there!”, you’ll understand the energy of this archetype.
According to New York-based psychologist Dr. Catherine Nobile, who spoke with Brides, the golden retriever partner is “the kind of partner who’s comforting, reliable, and empathetic, desirable at a time when emotional intelligence and compassion are increasingly important.”
Anyone who’s ever come across an actual golden retriever knows how loving, energetic, and playful they are. These qualities can balance out the black cat’s more serious and calm vibe.
Oftentimes, people deem this the “golden retriever boyfriend.” However, similar to the black cat dynamic, this can go for any partner.
The Black Cat and Golden Retriever Duo
The black cat and golden retriever make up a powerful, oftentimes balanced duo—if both partners respect each other’s differences, that is.
“It’s ok to challenge your partner to try a new approach or think about something in a new way, but it is also very important to listen to them when they express moving out of their comfort zone,” Liz Hughes, MEd, LPCC, founder and therapist of Mind Body Therapy, told Verywell Mind. “With that being said, it is also important to communicate your needs clearly in any relationship, but especially when partnered with someone who is your opposite.”
You know what they say: opposites attract. However, to maintain a sustainable connection, you both must be willing to accept and even embrace each other’s opposing qualities. Otherwise, these seemingly healthy differences could lead to resentment. One person might try changing the other, or maybe they’re constantly feeling misunderstood. This dynamic requires frequent check-ins and open communication.
However, when executed properly, the black cat and golden retriever duo is incredibly endearing and fulfilling for both partners.
The post Are You the Black Cat or the Golden Retriever in Your Relationship? appeared first on VICE.
