Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Shenanigans
President Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” became law last week while most late-night hosts were off for the holiday.
On Monday’s “Daily Show,” Jon Stewart dismissed the drama around the domestic policy bill as Washington theater. He accused lawmakers and the news media of “fake narrative shenanigans and hypocrisies and fecklessness,” comparing the Republicans who denounced the bill (before voting for it) to pro wrestlers: “The only difference between that vote and wrestling is that wrestling is fun and takes actual courage.”
“Ooh! It surprisingly got through! Like every other [expletive] thing Trump has wanted, from Qatari jet bribes to Epstein file secrecy to extorted media conglomerate protection money.” — JON STEWART
“Now, there’s a lot of ways that we can walk through this tax and spending bill and how this bill encapsulates a ton of general Washington [expletive]. For instance, political hypocrisy. This bill was 970 pages. They jammed it through with barely any time to read it.” — JON STEWART
“When it happens to them, it’s ‘shoving it down their throat. It’s an outrage!’ But when it’s for Republicans, it’s just, ‘Come on, America, relax the glottis, breathe through your nose.’” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (July 4 Edition)
“Joe Biden was seen struggling to set up a beach chair on July 4 weekend. It’s not his fault — he’s not used to a seat without a hole in the center of it.” — GREG GUTFELD
“On the Fourth of July, Kamala Harris posted ‘Things are probably going to get worse before they get better.’ That’s also how she starts her speaking engagements.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Yes, U.F.C., which stands for ‘U [Expletive] Crazy’?” — ANTHONY ANDERSON, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” on Trump wanting a July 4 U.F.C. fight at the White House next year
“I actually agree with the president. There should be a U.F.C. fight at the White House, between Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Right? It’ll be Golf Clubber Lang versus the Ketamine Machine.” — ANTHONY ANDERSON
The Bits Worth Watching
Black Americans were asked to share the whitest thing about themselves on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Cedric the Entertainer will reunite with Anthony Anderson on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
At 76, Ozzy Osbourne officially retired from Black Sabbath with a farewell performance in his hometown.
The post Jon Stewart Thinks Congress Is Basically Pro Wrestling Without the Fun appeared first on New York Times.
