A new survey by dating app Hily found that 37% of women and 75% of men (Gen Z and Millennials) are craving a summer fling this year. However, there’s a major disconnect between men’s and women’s expectations.
Interested in having a summer fling? Here’s how to navigate this casual dynamic without hurting yourself or others.
What is a ‘summer fling’?
A summer fling usually isn’t an exclusive, committed relationship with a deep connection. In fact, according to Hily’s survey, many daters have around two to three summer flings going on at once.
“A summer fling is typically a short-term romance (which can be emotional and/or physical), often without the initial intention of it being a long-term romance,” explained Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, relationship expert at Hily.
One in 3 young Americans thinks that summer flings are more acceptable than, say, winter, spring, or autumn flings. I mean, summer is definitely a heated time of year, with many having more time off and vacation plans than other seasons.
The risks of a summer fling
According to the research, most men are seeking a summer fling in hopes of a casual, low-pressure connection. More women, on the other hand, are secretly hoping for something more meaningful to come of these surface-level affairs.
Some people tend to underestimate the emotional impact of a summer fling—especially if it doesn’t align with your typical wants, needs, and values.
“People may start to get emotionally invested, even if that wasn’t their initial intention,” Cohen pointed out. “This can lead to hurt feelings if the other person wants to keep it short-term and casual. It is very challenging to predict how emotions will change and evolve.”
It’s crucial to continuously check in with yourself throughout the summer, ensuring you’re not getting involved in a potentially harmful dynamic.
“If you are looking for something different from what you are representing, you are likely to feel internal dissonance, and you’re also misrepresenting your intentions to another person,” Cohen explained.
Navigating a summer fling
Depending on where you fall on the scale (e.g., seeking commitment vs. seeking something casual), you’ll want to be honest and upfront about where your head’s at—both with yourself and with your flings.
“If you know from the start that you want something more than a casual fling, put that out there and pursue matches who want the same,” Cohen said. “Make sure your desires and behaviors are aligned.”
There might be potential for summer flings to progress into deeper connections—if handled correctly. In fact, over 40% of young Americans said that a summer fling has turned into a serious relationship.
Unfortunately, however, 56% of young American women and 39% of men said they’ve felt heartbroken after a summer fling ended. I mean, serious or not, these are still breakups, after all.
That being said, transparency can help prevent such painful endings.
“If a person is looking for commitment, it is important for them to be open and honest about their wants/needs from the start,” Cohen explained. “This will ensure they are matching with (and dating) people who have similar goals when it comes to a relationship.”
Of course, things can also change quickly—especially when sex and feelings are involved.
“Some people may enter a relationship thinking they want something like a casual summer fling and become emotionally invested (even if that was their initial intention),” Cohen said. “Once their feelings start to change, it is important to address them with the other person … Being honest with yourself about what you want and conveying it is the best way to protect yourself.”
The post 75% of Men Want a ‘Summer Fling’ This Year. Here’s How to Stay Safe Among Casual Daters. appeared first on VICE.
