Weddings are often viewed as the most important day of a couple’s life. There’s a wild amount of pressure for everything to run smoothly. Bringing drama to a wedding is a major no-go, but sometimes, even the most well-intentioned guests can cause an uproar without them even realizing it.
“I’ve witnessed countless weddings where guests have asked inappropriate questions that visibly distressed the couple,” said Nick Bramer from Country House Weddings, a family-run business specializing in exclusive-use wedding venues across the UK. “While most people mean well, certain topics should remain off-limits during wedding celebrations.”
Want to avoid putting a damper on your loved ones’ big day? We got the inside scoop from a Bramer on the 10 questions to avoid asking a couple on their wedding day.
1. When Are You Having Kids?
The answer to this intrusive question is, quite frankly, none of your business.
“Family planning is an incredibly personal topic that can involve complex emotions and circumstances,” Bramer explained. “Wedding day conversations should celebrate the commitment being made, not probe into future life decisions.”
Not to mention, not everyone wants or can physically have children. This question can trigger a variety of negative emotions, none of which have their place at a wedding.
2. How Much Did This Wedding Cost?
Again, how much someone spends on their big day should not concern you.
“Discussing finances at a celebration feels transactional rather than celebratory,” Bramer said. “It reduces a meaningful day to pound signs and budgets.”
If you want to judge someone’s wedding decisions, keep it to yourself.
3. Why Wasn’t [Insert Name] Invited?
A good rule of thumb for wedding guests is to allow the couple to make their own choices. You don’t have to agree with or approve of them, but you shouldn’t probe too deeply.
“Guest lists are often the most stressful part of wedding planning,” said Bramer. “Couples make these decisions carefully, and questioning them on the day just adds unwanted pressure.”
4. Are You Sure About This?
We all have that one out-of-pocket uncle who would ask this question, either as a joke or as a serious inquiry. However, there’s nothing funny about this comment.
“Even jokes about commitment can create genuine hurt,” Bramer pointed out. “Wedding days should reinforce confidence, not undermine it.”
5. Your Ex Was So Much Better Looking/Nicer
I’m not sure why anyone would think it’s appropriate to make this comment, but hey, jealousy can bring out the worst in people. Don’t be “that person” at the wedding. Keep your shallow comments to yourself.
6. Why Did You Choose This Venue/Dress/Food?
…because they wanted to. It’s not your wedding, point blank.
“Every couple puts tremendous thought into their wedding details,” Bramer explained. “Questioning their choices suggests they’ve made poor decisions on their special day.”
7. How Long Do You Think This Marriage Will Last?
This incredibly rude question basically tells the couple that you don’t think their relationship is strong enough to last. Maybe your judgment is coming from a grounded, factual place, or perhaps you’re projecting your bitterness onto the newlyweds. Whatever the case, you should never ask this question—at a wedding or elsewhere.
8. Why Are You Getting Married So Young/Old?
No matter when you choose to get married in life, someone will have a negative comment about it. Don’t be that “someone.” Let people live out their own timelines.
“Age comments suggest there’s a ‘right’ time to marry, when really it’s about finding the right person,” Bramer explained.
9. Is She Pregnant? Is That Why You’re Getting Married?
To be honest, wedding or not, you should never inquire about a woman’s potential pregnancy. But doing so at a wedding—and hinting it’s the only reason for said wedding—is beyond inappropriate.
“These assumptions reduce a beautiful commitment to outdated stereotypes,” Bramer said. “Couples deserve better on their wedding day.”
10. Why Didn’t You Have A Bigger/Smaller Wedding?
Any question that critiques the couple’s and their families’ budget and preferences should be off the table. This type of comment can trigger insecurity, which has no place at a wedding.
“Instead of asking intrusive questions, focus on expressing genuine joy for the couple,” Bramer recommended. “Simple phrases like ‘You both look absolutely radiant’ or ‘This is such a beautiful celebration of your love’ create positive memories rather than awkward moments. Ask about their honeymoon plans, compliment specific details you genuinely admire, or share a favorite memory of the couple together.”
The post 10 Questions To Avoid Asking Newlyweds on Their Wedding Day appeared first on VICE.
