A mom of two from Australia was shocked by the backlash she got from other parents after throwing her daughter a party, despite struggling to afford it.
May Blue (@mrs_may_blue) posted what happened on Threads and asked if she was wrong for how she hosted her daughter’s third birthday.
“A few years ago, I couldn’t afford a birthday party for my daughter,” Blue wrote. “She really wanted one. So I sent out invites for a birthday party at the local park, with a note: ‘optional—if you are able to bring a plate it is greatly appreciated.’” She added that she couldn’t afford party bags so she gave the kids balloons to take home instead.
The party, intended as a modest celebration, ended up becoming the subject of quiet gossip among other local mothers.
“It was really hard to hear that moms in the community had been saying, ‘If you can’t afford a party, don’t have one,’” the 25-year-old musician told Newsweek. “They also said, ‘We invited her to our parties and said she didn’t need to bring anything, why can’t she do the same?’”
Blue explained that her husband had recently lost his job when their second child was just three months old.
“While I don’t advocate for having something just because everyone else does, [my daughter] really wanted a party and I didn’t want to tell her she couldn’t have one just because we couldn’t afford it,” she told Newsweek. “I felt terrible.”
Given the family’s new and unexpected financial situation, the mom of two had about $15 to spend.
Blue bought some balloons and food, but it wasn’t enough to comfortably feed a group. “I was very clear that bringing a plate was not required,” she added.
The party itself went well. One mother, newly arrived from Japan, brought homemade sushi and even taught Blue and another parent how to make it.
“The other parents were standing around the outskirts of the park, not being sociable,” Blue told Newsweek. “After some light effort to engage them in conversation I went off to play with the kids and keep them happy. [They] all had an amazing day.”
It wasn’t until recently that Blue discovered parents were still gossiping about the event—one of them she would have considered a friend.
“The most shocking thing to me was that everyone did bring a plate,” she told Newsweek. “I can’t imagine doing something optional and then being resentful about it.”
Blue’s post received over 13,000 likes and a further 4,000 comments on Threads, many of which took her side.
“Those women are goblins. You did right by your kiddo and that’s all that matters,” one user wrote.
“The only appropriate response to a request to bring plates is, ‘Do you need anything else?’ [and] ‘How can I help?’ is a close second,” another added.
Years later, Blue wishes people understood how hard it is to ask for help.
“As somebody who grew up with not very much, now raising my own children on a very low income, I wish people would understand that if someone asks for help, they really do need it,” she told Newsweek.
“I also wish they knew how the people who help without being asked by bringing some extra groceries when they drop in for lunch or handing down nice clothes from their own children. [It] goes a very long way.”
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