A London-based mom was stunned when her 2-year-old came home from day care and announced she’s Black.
Joy Mbakwe (@msjoymbakwe) posted a reel on Instagram and explained to viewers that she has never told her daughter she’s Black before.
Mbakwe told Newsweek that her initial reaction was “one of shock” when she told her mom this.
“I had not anticipated that we would have to explicitly speak to her about race until she was older,” she said. “For her to be just two and describe herself as ‘Black’ was both saddening and shocking. Although we are proud to be Black, it is not without its consequences.”
After speaking to staff at her daughter’s nursery, Mbakwe learned that an older child may have introduced the term.
In her video, she explained a core tension felt by many Black parents navigating racial identity in the West: “If I was living in Nigeria and I had her, I would never say to her, ‘You are Black.’ We would just be Nigerian.”
Mbakwe told Newsweek that descriptors like ‘Black’ and ‘white’ were created to maintain racial hierarchies.
“Although some Black people in the diaspora find the term empowering, other Africans who migrate to the West are often surprised by the way the term is handed to them—and how they can often be defined by the negative stereotypes that the word carries,” she said.
Mbakwe’s reel has been viewed over 78,000 and resonated deeply with parents of young children navigating multicultural identities.
“Being Black is a beautiful thing and our kids need to know from early so that when the world (which it will eventually do) tries to demonize their blackness they are resilient enough to counteract that. Great job mom,” one user commented.
“Love your approach, I also feel a sense of upset because someone labeled her and took her innocence in that way,” added another.
It also caught the attention of professional ballroom dancer Oti Mabuse who commented: “And this is my why my daughter will box not dance.”
Rather than shying away from the conversation around race, Mbakwe—a speaker and thought leader—leaned in.
“Children become aware of physical differences as it pertains to race as young as six months old,” she told Newsweek. “When children are between the ages of two and three, they can begin to show racial biases. Nurseries absolutely have the responsibility to be culturally and racially sensitive, and radically inclusive in nature. However, I believe parents should lead the conversation first with their children.”
In light of her daughter’s realization, Mbakwe continues to read and review the literature on anti-racism.
“Not all feel appropriate or communicate my own personal values about race,” she told Newsweek. “It’s a sensitive topic and I have to be careful that I am empowering my child as well as educating her.”
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